Sunday, November 11, 2012

11/11 - a special time and day!!

Soon after Nyle and I married he informed me that 11:11 was the only time in the day that all four digits were the same.  He decided that we should hold hands at 11:11 if we were together.  We did this little ritual for 27 years.

Sometimes we weren't very happy with each other for reasons that we thought were important at the time.  Strangely enough if we held hands for that one little minute while we were unhappy with each other things changed.  Our love returned and we were able to work through the things that divided us.

Today is 11/11....I will celebrate the gift of love that Nyle brought into my life all day today.  I will do that by blog, wall post, and connecting with beloved friends that also celebrated and loved Nyle.

I am ever so grateful for my belief that Nyle is NOT far from me, our two biological daughters, or our many part-time daughters and sons (that includes you beloved couple that Nyle called "the kids, you know who I'm talking about!)  If I believed that I would never again share the loving relationship that Nyle and I had....well I don't know that I would have courage to keep facing forward and walking into a future that is completely unknown.

Yet with the belief, the reality that Nyle continues to live only in a different dimension, format, or time, I know how proud he is of me.  He wants me to succeed in every way imaginable.  I want to succeed for HIM, but also for myself. 

Soon after we married I asked Nyle's advice on a question that was specific to me.  His response shocked me because in our LDS culture many people believe that the husband should always have the last word.  He should be the guide, and the wife and children should abide by his advice "In righteousness." 

Nyle believed in a modified version of that credo.  He believed that he AND I were co-equals.  His response to my question was, "You have a very good mind, and I'm certain that you will make the right decision."  HUH?  He wasn't going to make the decision for me?

Nyle's way of husbanding, and parenting was not to make random decisions.  We did often discuss together things that affected our entire family, and rarely did he make decisions regarding our family WITHOUT consulting  me first.  I loved that about Nyle, that he didn't set himself up as some sort of benevolent ruler of our family.

Thank you to all of you who contributed to his life, and to mine as well.  After twenty-seven years of sharing life in all it's ups and downs I will feel connected to my beloved through the rest of my life, every 11:11 that comes along, whether it is in the time of the day, the month and day, or any other time that I see four 1's in succession.  On the other hand I don't need those numbers to remember my beloved.  Thanks for listening today as I share my life with Nyle.

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