Sunday, October 23, 2011

God's Glory

Four years ago we moved from Oregon to Utah. It has been joyous reconnecting
with lots of family. We started an annual tradition of driving up the Alpine Loop
every fall to rejoice in the glorious colors of Autumn.

It's impossible for me to see the craggy rocks bent, and folded with trees growing
everywhere and NOT believe in God. Maybe it's because I LIKE to believe that
the created can NOT exist without a Creator.

I always have enjoyed the analogy that saying the earth came about by chance
was like taking a box filled with the letters of the alphabet A through Z, tossing
it in the air and having it come back down as an organized, bound, dictionary.

How I LOVE to sit comfortably in a well built automobile, with climate controls
as I witness God's splendor. As we travel smoothly along I think of my ancestors
who climbed over, and through mountain passes without the benefit of automotive

I also am grateful for the wonderful family that I enjoy. Being in their company
makes everything better...both the good and the bad.

I want to end as I began. I saw God's glory as I traveled through the craggy
beauty of Autumn in the mountains. I also saw his glory in his children,
and even in the amazing automobile that carried us through!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Light in Darkness

In 1990 I was given the twofold diagnosis of breast cancer and Fibromyalgia. There should have been one more diagnosis that was given CLINICAL DEPRESSION. I write it in all caps on purpose. Of all the health challenges I've faced in my life, and they are numerous, chronic bronchitis, allergy asthma, degenerative spinal disease, arthritis, and knee joint disease, to name a few CLINICAL DEPRESSION has been the hardest. I know even as I write this there may be some people who simply don't understand the difference between circumstance driven discouragement and CLINICAL DEPRESSION.

May I just express that discouragement is driven by the circumstances that you are living through. You may be discouraged because your team just lost a football game. Or you may be discouraged because your children refuse to tidy up the house.

This is a HUGE difference from CLINICAL DEPRESSION! Clinical depression is often NOT even related to circumstances. For example Marilyn Monroe, was a world famous celebrity with any possible material things that she could desire yet she suffered from clinical depression.

Clinical depression is a physical disease...every bit as much as diabetes. With diabetes your pancreas quits creating insulin to control the sugar absorption of your body. With depression your body quits creating one or all of the three chemicals, neurepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin that your body needs for you to feel peace. With an imbalance, or deficiency of these chemicals comes CLINICAL DEPRESSION.

What an AMAZING age that we live in where we know so much more of our brain and how it works. I like to think of the brain as the director of a huge play with thousands of actors. Our brain is impacted by the many, many processes going on in our bodies at any one time. In addition our brain impacts the many, many processes going on in our bodies at any one time. YUP, our brain is the director, and all of the things that our body does automatically (like breathing, or having our heart beat) are the many, many actors.

I am NOT ashamed that I have faced clinical depression. Why should I be? Would someone be embarrassed that they had diabetes, or asthma, or allergies?

Another important thing to understand about clinical depression is that it often IS triggered by other physical issues in your body. If you have heart disease, it affects the chemicals that the brain needs to function properly, VOILA, on top of heart disease you are now suffering from clinical depression.

Some people think that someone is BLUE, or DISCOURAGED, because they now have heart disease. That IS a normal reaction to something that radically changes your life. On the other hand there is a BIG difference again between situational discouragement and CLINICAL DEPRESSION. With clinical depression your body has messed up those three chemicals in some way or another and you may need antidepressant medication, and DEFINITELY some time to get the chemicals in balance again.

My beloved nephew Marcus killed himself a week ago. NOBODY knew that he was battling clinical depression. He was filled with light this beloved man. It was known that he had battled with this disease in the past but nobody knew that he again was in it's throes.

It needs to be understood that clinical depression is a POWERFUL LIAR! It tells you, "Nobody cares about what you're feeling!" "You're crazy, you're nuts, there's nothing wrong with you physically, you're just crazy!" "You need to die, you're a burden on your family, your friends, etc. etc." Clinical depression lies to you, and it's extremely hard to battle.

We didn't know that Marcus was battling....many people with clinical depression are good actors...until they are discovered dead from suicide.

Now for the good news....THERE IS HOPE! With a combination of support, from family, and friends, counseling from a professional (and you may need to interview a few counselors to find one that you connect well with, and feel that they understand YOU), and medication you can again feel good about life. You may never be CURED from clinical depression, but if you can find a combination of treatments that bring back color, and joy into your life...what a wonderful thing!

Of the three issues I faced in 1990, breast cancer, Fibromyalgia, and clinical depression, Clinical Depression has been the hardest battle. It's no sissy sprint, it's a marathon. On the other hand, ANYONE CAN survive this struggle!

If you know of anyone battling Clinical Depression DON'T JUDGE THEM. DO LOVE THEM! I have lost one of my favorite people because nobody knew that he was depressed. We need to love more, and judge less anybody fighting the demons of depression.

I will end on a positive note. I believe that Marcus is now getting powerful professional care in the spirit world. I believe that he understands himself, and the demons that were driving him well. I also believe that we will be again together as a family after I have finished this life. Our family will pull closer together than ever. I am eternally grateful to be a part of this amazing family.

In addition if my struggles with this disease and the lessons I have learned, and the success I have had in battling can help even ONE person...I will be grateful. PLEASE if you are battling this enemy GET HELP! Tell someone that you trust, and then get medication and professional counseling! I'm praying for you.


After thinking a lot about it I have decided to go a new direction. This blog will be used by me to do my level best to inspire, uplift, and create more laughter in the world.

Previously I used it for everything from recipes to posting my newest novel. I have decided that I'm going to create a new on it I will post all kinds of info about my series and the sequel that will come after the series. My first series is Women of the Drifting Anchor Ranch. The sequel will be Children of the Drifting Anchor Ranch.

The first series will take place between 1850 and 1890. The second will take place from 1890ish to 1920. I LOVE HISTORY. It fascinates me to see different people in different settings. People ARE endlessly fascinating, but place them in different time with all the variables that exist there and I am SO HAPPY! will be a forum for some of my life's journey. I have traversed a wide variety of experiences in the 55 years I've lived. I am hoping to lift some others in the broad world who may be going through struggles and juggles. IN ADVANCE I WARN YOU, my information may not be for the faint of heart.

So...all those who are brave, or struggling, or both, please read, and comment. I LOVE to connect with others.

Look for my new Blog, and my first self-published book sometime in the year 2010. Remember, will be the address of my new Blog.