Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day, A New NORMAL??

I'm sitting in the semi-darkness. My Valentine's Tree (aka as my Christmas tree) lights are blinking softly, lighting my heart. Every ornament on this tree has a story, and every decoration
connects me to my sweetheart Nyle.

I don't remember our last Valentine's Day together, last year. It bothers me that I can't remember but what I DO remember is how special Nyle made EVERYDAY that we were together. He had such a joyeux de vivre. The worst times were made better by his ability to be silly, to goof, to joke, but most especially to love.

I'm ever so grateful for the gift that he left behind for me...our two daughters. They watch over me with care and patience. It's an early role reversal. I expected eventually for our daughters to reach out to take care of me when I became old and possibly feeble, more fragile. I NEVER planned on their having to take care of me before I even reached the generally accepted age of seniorhood sixty.

Yet they give, serve, and love with such seeming ease that sometimes I forget to notice that I AM being served. All through their young lives they have taught me about so many things. Now they teach me about dealing with grief by serving others.

Valentine's Day can be a difficult time for those who have not had the chance for romance, or those that face divorce, or death. Yet I have found great joy this year, even as I fight great sorrow....through the loving gifts given to our family from others.

So....I miss Nyle with every breath that I breathe, but I am thankful for the years we spent together. I WILL overcome my anguish by following Nyle and our daughters example of service.


  1. CJ - Thank you for your beautiful example and lovely perspective! You continue to be in my heart and thoughts. Deborah

  2. I hope that somehow you check my blog again and see that I am commenting on your comment. I think I wrote down an email address for you but I can't find it.

    Deb you were an angel in the last days of my sweetie's life. There simply aren't adequate words in the English language to explain what your loving care meant to him, to me, to our two beloved daughters.

    What an irony it is to me that as I write about service one of the most service minded people I've ever had the privilege of knowing responded. Girlfriend, you serve both at work and at home. What a blessing you are to those fortunate to be within your scope of influence, that includes our family.

    May God bless with His richest blessings for the love that you give seemingly so effortlessly.

    With love, CJ

  3. Wow. Absolutely beautiful. I'm so touched by the power of this message. You are so wise, my friend. And it is so awesome to behold the love that is in your precious family, and the love that those girls learned by first being loved SO deeply by their dear parents. This line, I want to re-read over & over, to remind me what service should look like: "Yet they give, serve, and love with such seeming ease that sometimes I forget to notice that I AM being served." :) I love you! <3