Have you ever?

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you were busy, and there was always more to do than you had energy to achieve, and at any one time of the day you were just very busy, sometimes you've felt like there is more to do than you can do and you're VERY, VERY BUSY?  AND THEN...everything just STOPS.  When I was 34 that time arrived.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer in two parts of my breast.  I had two lumpectomies, and radiation.  I still had so much of life that I wanted to live.  I wanted to watch our two beautiful little girls grow up.  I wanted to have another baby.  I wanted to walk through life together with my soul mate and grow old together.

I went into remission.  I went to the funeral of my husband's secretary.  She was just a few years older than me.  She had two darling daughters about the same age as our girls.  She had breast cancer when I did.  She DIED...I got to live another 27 years.  When things were tough....1 year clear...5 years clear....10 years clear....25 years clear...I would remember this lovely woman and her courage and she inspired me to remember my blessings.

When I lived 27 years clear I drew a deep breath of relief.  I mean, come on, you don't get breast cancer again, in the same breast, after 27 years, right?  Apparently, I became complacent far too soon.  IT'S BACK and I'm not referring to the little girl's comment in The Poltergeist.  I opted for 2 lumpectomies and radiation the first time around.  I truly wish I would have just had the blessed breast removed 27 years ago.  AHHHH...hindsight....wouldn't it be lovely if we could see that lesson in advance instead of review?

I'm going to use this blog as a means to express my sorrows, my joys, my experiences while I once again walk through this dark valley.  The good news in all of this?  I am blessed with amazing family who are friends, and friends who are family.  I have never had a hard thing in my life when I was not blessed with loved ones to stand with me and help support me.

I know that I will have dark times as I face this newest battle.  Having said that, it never fails to amaze me that when you are faced with the possibility of your own mortality things that just don't matter fall away.  Your vision becomes laser sharp on those parts of life that DO matter.