Trial of Ease??

In the scriptures it speaks about a trial of "ease."  I've often throught as I've struggled my way through life financially that I would LOVE to try on that particular trial.  As I worked full-time until our youngest daughter was four years of age, and then worked full-time and a half as I opened a childcare business, I used to dream of winning the lottery.  Imagine never having to work that hard again, I would fantasize.

Getting older brings the gift of perspective.  I understand that those times were difficult but they were also rich with stories to tell, lessons to learn, and most especially the unbridled joy of watching our two beautiful daughters grow up, and my beloved husband earn his Bachelor's or Theatre and Film Directing, and then his Legal degree.

I've been in this lovely apartment for two and a half weeks.  I still have more boxes than I have spaces, and everyday I empty more boxes, and try to gain more order in my lovely place.

So....I do NOT have billions of dollars, I don't even have a simple million.  Still, I have more than enough THINGS to make me happy.

Better than the THINGS, I have a family that I adore, friends that are family, and family that are friends.

One day I was feeling overwhelmed at the task of "downsizing," to a smaller apartment.  Then I started to think about some of the people that I saw in Jamaica who lived in cardboard boxes, or huts with a tin roof.  Their spaces were about two feet by three feet.  Yet those people were smiling.  They didn't seem to realize that they were poor.  They would say, "Irie," which means basically, "Don't worry, be happy."

There are so many types of wealth.  There is obviously financial wealth, but the kinds of wealth that are the more important are the wealth of true joy.  That joy comes from relationships, NOT things.  Oh trust me, I will always enjoy wearing pretty clothes, and jewelry, but I would give them all up in a heartbeat for any of my beloved friends or family.  (Anybody out there need some beautiful women's clothes in a size of 18/20?)

I'm BACK or is it forth?

Back and forth is a great phrase to express everything about the year 2013.  Back and forth emotions, back and forth physical locale, back and forth....oh heck just everything!

First my beloved husband of 27 years moved.....FAR AWAY....to the spiritual realm.  Talk about LONG DISTANCE MOVE?  It was most annoying that he did NOT take a single physical possession with him. 

The next move was our beloved oldest daughter.  She moved for a lovely job that she got where she works with history on a daily basis...yup she loves it!

Then there was my move.  Have you EVER gone through the boxes, bags, and containers of 27 years of your life?  Every single thing to pack has a memory attached that can send you reeling into tears, sorrow, and did I mention, WOW Nyle moved way too far away!

I moved (with the help of numerous beloved family and friends) on a Saturday.  On Sunday I slept ALL DAY....moving is exhausting....bone drying, dregs of physicality EXHAUSTING!  On Monday I went back to my former place and cleaned....again with the help of beloved friends who are family..

Tuesday my daughter and I packed up her school possessions, and off we went to her college where she is finishing her last year with honors.  She's such a smartie!!!

Wednesday I drove home.  Then Thursday came....DUM DA DUM!!!  No Nyle....no kids...I was ridiculously grateful that I have a small doggy and 2 kitty cats.  Trying to find places for all the things coming out of the boxes was ludicrous.  I moved from a 3 bedroom 2 car garage to a 2 bedroom no garage.  (Did I mention that I had spent 27 years collecting THINGS?  Nyle as well.)

Now before any of you sigh and say, "Ah poor thing."  (I really NEVER want pity....love, compassion, empathy, but NEVER pity!)  I have a different picture for you to view.

Ann Shelton Howard left England, her beloved homeland, because she listened to two missionaries speak of the restoration of the gospel as Jesus taught it.  She and her husband took their 7 children, and with all of their savings crossed the ocean to America.

After the rigors of traveling with 7 children across an ocean they had just begun their journey.  Their destination was as the hymn "Come Come Ye Saints" sings "Far away in the west."  They had little money left at this point.  So they purchased a handcart....which is like a giant wheelbarrow on two wheels. 

That meant that they were lucky to fit in it enough food for the lengthy journey, and a change of clothes, and that's pretty much it....because you see the giant cart had to be pulled by human hands.  It was not designed to be pulled by horse or oxen, and they couldn't afford those anyway.

So with amazing faith, and high hopes for the future of their children they set out to reach the destination that they called "Zion," which in their definition was the "Pure of heart," those who shared their zeal in their newly embraced religion.

They did well for quite a while.  Not far from their destination Ann gave birth.  Partially due to the rigors of this cross country march the baby only lived a short time.  Then she became desperately ill, probably with child bed fever. 

Ann was described by family as "A woman of large stature."  Remember she's ingesting next to NO food, and walking at least 15 miles a day.  She was not exactly rotund, but simply a strong, big boned woman of around 200 lbs.

When she became too ill to walk the wagon company was approached.  There were many in the company that had wagons pulled by horses or oxen.  However, if they put her in their wagon they would have to take something else of equal weight out of their wagon.

These were tired, hungry, desperate people at this point.  At first no one was willing to make that sacrifice for a stranger.  Finally one dear soul agreed to let her ride in his wagon.  (I hope that he received a grand reward in heaven for that kindness!)

For about a day she rode in a bed in the wagon with her head in her beloved young daughters lap to help protect her from the incredibly bumpy, rough ride of a wagon.  Imagine being jolted, huge bumps, and constant rough ride when you are the sickest you have ever been?  Did I also mention grieving over the loss of a precious child?

Finally in her young daughters arms she died.  They buried her on the brutal prairie this woman of a cheerful disposition, a faith filled heart, and a brilliant head of red hair.  There was no marker, she was hurriedly buried, probably with stones over her to keep wolves away from the grave.

Then the family marched on.

So, remembering Grandma Ann today, I suddenly feel my modern burdens lifting.  The weight seems much lighter.  I have a lovely car to drive when I want to go somewhere.  Instead of having NOTHING of physical possessions, I have TOO MANY.  I do NOT have to travel across an ocean and then a vast wilderness to live my faith.  . 

Somehow I feel better about my lot in life.  Thanks Grandma Ann for so much sacrifice to make a better life for me, your great, great grandaughter!

Ere You Left Your Room This Morning Did you Think to Pray?

Visiting Teaching is a wonderful thing that happens in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints.  Each sister is assigned to visit and teach other sisters each month.  This visit is to build each other up spiritually and physically.  There are numerous accounts of people receiving rich blessings both by visiting and by being visited.

Sometimes the grief that I'm working through leaves me feeling quite powerless.  I feel unable to reach out, to be vulnerable or to help someone else.  Wanting to be totally, completely alone is new to me.  I
generally gain a great deal of my strength from my relationships with people.

This morning it took every ounce of strength that I had to get up, get ready, and go to church.  The Relief Society sisters were warm and inviting.  They always make me feel loved and supported (why do I hesitate to be there with them?)

A sweet sister rose to give the Visiting Teaching message.  I cringed, and wanted to run right out of the door.  You see this wonderful sister is someone that I am supposed to Visit Teach.  I have been
THE very worst Visiting Teacher.  I think I've physically visited her once or twice in this last year.

In the last month I have at least started to reach out through email.  Then one day I felt inspired to tell her that I was praying for her.  I really was praying for her, and for her family.  You see, I LOVE this wonderful group of people.  My inability to Visit has nothing to do with her lack, and all to do with my feelings of inadequacy.

Now can you imagine that she shared my attempt to Visit Teach.  She told that she was having a very rough time in her life.  One day the spirit told her that the people who love her are praying for her.  The next day I sent her a message and told her that I was praying for her.

The Holy Spirit knows our hearts...he knows what we need, and what we NEED TO DO FOR OTHERS.  I'm so grateful that I felt that inspiration to reach out in prayer.

The other thing that it reminded me was the power of prayer.  It is not some ethereal words that we mumble into an uncaring universe.  Prayer when uttered with faith, even as small as a grain of mustard seed (have you ever seen how tiny a grain of mustard seed is?) can move mountains.  In this case it linked my heart to this beloved lady that I Visit Teach, and reminded her that she is loved, and it also connected she and I to our beloved Heavenly Father.  Mountain moved.

Elephant Jokes

One of my beloved sister-in laws LOVES elephant jokes.  She loves the simple, black and white humor that is to be found in them.  She is NOT simple.  My dear sister more than in-law, is quite brilliant.  She raised seven children....the first six of them boys.  She was an exchange student to Greece, and has been nominated at different times for honors due to her scholarship.

I have always thought Elephant jokes were ridiculously simple, and too silly to be funny....UNLESS...unless it's my sister-in law telling me the jokes.  I've tried to decide if the jokes ARE funny when she tells them because her laughter is so deliciously contagious to me.  Just by the action of laughing it feels like she's inviting me to a delicious feast....a feast of humor instead of food.

So...in her honor....although I am not going to give her name publicly (she knows who she is) I am going to list a couple of elephant jokes....laughing is optional....but it feels SOOO GOOD!

"Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead."  "Why did the elephant paint her toenails red?  So she could hide in the strawberry patch."  "What is red, gray, and white?  Campbell's cream of elephant soup."

OK....now it's your turn.  I love my blogs to be a forum for discussion.  So please, if you know any elephant jokes, share.  You know you want to!

Romance and other mushy stuff

The water warmly welcomed me as I slid into the Caribbean. The color of the water was vivid. I adjusted my snorkle mask and effortlessly put my face under the water. I gasped, and almost pulled water into the snorkle tube.

I swam around fascinated by all the life, and movement in that underwater environment. Coral, waved gently in the watery movement. Tiny, vivid fish darted to and fro. Other creatures were there as well.

Then a bump, and my hand was enveloped by a much larger, more masculine hand. The touch of that hand on mine was as familiar to me as my own body. My heart began to race. I smiled and realized that my husband couldn't tell I was smiling, I had a snorkle mask on!

Holding hands we flippered our way about the cove close to Cabo San Lucas. It felt completely right to be sharing the beauty of this other world. It was the greatest of adventures because I shared it with my beloved.

We were both very sad when our time was completed and we made our way back to the ship. Forever I will remember the feel of Nyle's hand engulfing mine. I will remember the coral, the fish, the newness and unexplored feeling that was just beneath the watery surface. I will remember the love that is stronger even than death.

Social Media

I foresee a future when my grandchildren will be simply aghast at the notion that in my childhood there were NO COMPUTERS! I remember with great fondness listening to my beloved grandma Cheney speak of riding in a wagon, even a covered wagon! I thought that she was ageless, old as the dinosaurs, old as the mountains. I simply could not even imagine a world in which we used buggies, wagons, and horses for transportation.

Each era of time has a particular tilt of life that is difficult to be understood by the future generations. Yet the basic humanity of life remains the same. We all need to eat, drink, and love and be loved. It used to be much more difficult to communicate that love. A letter, vs, a Facebook message sent and delivered almost simultaneously, even across the globe!

I remember living in Minnesota. I had a beloved Great-Uncle who used to send me letters from Idaho. It took almost a week for me to receive one of his treasured letters. Now I can send a message to a beloved part-time daughter in Azerbaijan and know that she will receive it instantly.

So...the realization is that in each time of life there has been good, and bad....and it seems as though often we learn the best things in the worst times. What an interesting life it is.

I wish to avoid spending the rest of my life looking back ALL the time. I wish to embrace and look forward to the future, with whatever marvelous changes it brings!

Splashing in the Sunshine

Bright, chubby, and absolutely adorable four year old Sarah was full of excitement.  The words repeated themselves over and over in her mind, "We're going to Tryon Creek Forest, we're going to Tryon Creek Forest."  She could hardly stay in her seat belt.  She wanted to get out of the car, and just RUN to one of her favorite places in the entire world!  No, she corrected herself, "The entire UNIVERSE."

Now granted, in Sarah's four year old mind the Universe consisted of a great deal less space and matter than it does in the minds of adults, but size is relative, right? 

Arriving at the forest Sarah was the first out of the car, the first helping with getting the baby in the stroller, the first to lead the parade of children through the forest.  The path was paved, and the trees caused the sunshine to dapple the path.

Sarah gleefully jumped from one spot of sunshine to the next.  Joy filled her and she felt like she was so happy that it was just leaking out of her ears! 

Then the idea hit with the enthusiasm that only a four year old person can create.  "Mama....I'm splashing in the sunshine!!!"  Yes I did just put THREE exclamation points. That is because she stated this precious idea with fulness of thought and happiness.

Forever, and ever, I want to remember the look of sheer wonder on her face as she hopped from sunshiny spot to sunshiny spot.  Her joy was pure, and sharing that joy filled me, her Mama with joy as well.

So...today....go outside and "Splash in sunshine!"  Will you please?  You'll be amazed at how good it makes you feel!