Roller Coaster Ride

I grew up riding on a roller coaster that was all wooden, over one hundred years old.  It was magical to me to think of all the people that had gone up, up, and upper still, and then....WHOOSH, they dropped, and so did their stomach.  The thrill of the wind racing past my face, and the rapid speed of the twists and turns took me beyond the everydayness of life.

That roller coaster has become an analogy for my life...especially right now.  This week, I felt the rush of wind going past my face as I caught my sandal on a fan cord in our house.  For a brief (too brief) moment I was flying.  AND THEN...I landed.  When you hit something hard, if you're blessed the hard parts of you do not break.  On the other hand, the soft parts of you keep moving for awhile after your landing.  This continued movement create a condition that is basically as though you have sprained your entire body.  This is especially true when you enter your 6th decade in life.

Not broken....but bent.  I have had folks with the best intentions tell me that I'm "lucky" that I didn't break a bone.  Agreed.  On the other hand, soft tissue damage can hurt much longer, and take more time to heal than a bone injury. 

It feels crappy that now, not only am I battling with breast cancer, but both of my knees are damaged.  After my double mastectomy I will have to work hard to be able to use my arms again.  In this surgery they change the arrangement of your chest muscles into your arms.  Does this sound appealing?  In the least?

I threw a wicked pity party...invited a party of one...me.  I felt good and properly sorry for the mess that I have landed in.  I gave myself a deadline...until midnight...cried, ranted and raved, and ate lots of chocolate.  I binge watched Heartland...which is a Canadian telly series that involves lots and lots of horses. 

At my deadline I truly did my best to turn my focus back around.  I do believe that we create our own reality....well to a degree.  As a writer I create multiple realities.  If the day is bleak and filled with challenge, I run away for a couple of hours.  I control the worlds of my writing.  It is a most satisfying sensation to look at the world through the eyes of my characters.

Ride that roller coaster...throw your arms up as you ride down the hill.  Rejoice in the wind that tickles and torments your hair.  Feel the rush as gravity holds you in its embrace.  There is much about movement.