I wish to initially clarify what I mean when I speak of happiness, or joy. I am not discussing the transitory nature of fun, or pleasure. To me, happiness and joy are on a deeper life level. There actually IS the possibility that you can be happy in the most difficult of circumstance.
Greatness isn't about being born with privilege. Greatness is about doing the best you possibly can with the life that you've been given. My friend George Watanabe's quote, paraphrased a bit by me.
These words have been ringing through my soul. I already knew that greatness was not necessarily shown by a splendid house, fancy cars, and designer clothes. An example? My youngest daughter was in the restroom at her middle school. Two other girls came in. One was complaining to the other, "My clothes are not all the same designer! My Mother didn't get all of them washed in time!"
My girl was amazed. Her life had been a little different. Most of her clothing had come from thrift stores (proudly so), clearance sales, and hand me downs. There were rarely any "designer labels," in her wardrobe. She was totally puzzled by the foolishness of these girls worrying that their underwear were a different designer label than her outerwear. She later said to me, "Nobody should even be seeing your underwear! Who cares what label is on it!"
I'm NOT saying that it is evil to have money. Great wealth can bless ever so many lives in ever so many ways! Think of Bill Gates and his lovely wife. They have put millions of dollars into the world. They are firm believers in giving back.
I also believe that with great money and resources there should be a higher level of responsibility in how those assets are used. I realize that defining this can be very tricky. With wealth often comes lots, and lots of people with their hands outstretched. I think most people have heard horror stories about lottery winners and how they are bombarded by requests for sharing the wealth.
I honor some of those that chose their financial blessings as ways to help their entire family. Celine Dion is a grand example of that. She was born into a very large family. As her career sky rocketed she shared with siblings, nieces, and nephews. Her success translated immediately with love into blessings for her family.
A debate goes on, does money create happiness? There are ever so many examples of wealthy people killing themselves, or leading absolutely miserable lives. Wealthy folks with young children worry about kidnapping of those precious children, think about the son of Charles Lindberg. The father was a famous airplane pilot that flew around the world. He was the first to achieve that goal. When his son was kidnapped and then found killed, none of that wealth could comfort him.
On the other hand, is poverty the answer for happiness? Surely not. There are far too many people who can't afford to feed themselves, or their children. In my own life I have felt the fear of not knowing if I can pay my bills. In those times I was aware that I could face many negative consequences due to that lack.
What IS the source of happiness in life? Is there only one source? I believe that there are as many sources of happiness as there are people.
Being able to dance brings me great happiness. I live with invisible disability. Nobody can see the damage from the tip of my neck to the base of my tailbone. Pain can't be seen unless you know what to look for. I was a dancer in my youth. Being able to dance again is a huge blessing to me.
The greatest source of my happiness is my faith in God. Believing that there IS a purpose to this life, and that there is a Creator who created this world for us, brings me joy.
I had a neighbor that was a psychologist. She chose to work with children that suffered with post traumatic stress disorder. She saw the worst of the worst, children who had faced horrors of abuse and neglect. Her belief was that there was no God, no purpose in our suffering, sorrow faced is random, and death is the end of existence. Her way was obviously not my way. Yet I validate her choice as giving her sense in the senseless. The sense to her was that life is completely random, and we needed to make the most of our lives because there was nothing more.
Am I right, is she wrong? It does NOT matter. What matters is how we find our way through the twisting, turning, confusing maze that life is from time to time. Both of us had systems that worked for us.
I am NEVER saying that causing harm to others, or choosing addictive behaviors of any type, sex, food, drugs, etc. are appropriate answers to life's difficulties. Using these behaviors will NEVER lead to happiness. They may bring transitory pleasure, but that pleasure will quickly be followed by consequence and sorrow.
Today, this very moment as you read this post, make a goal for yourself. Life is busy. Do not choose to make that an excuse not to take my challenge. We all have twenty-four hours. We all have the choice to fill them as we see fit. So squeeze out a few minutes. This is the challenge, take half an hour and do what brings you genuine, healthy, joy. If that means being with your children, or husband, or other family or friends. If that means going on a walk, or hike, do it. Maybe your happiness comes in serving others, or reading a very good book. You may be surprised how one half hour, thirty short minutes of happiness can change your entire outlook. Squeeze in TODAY moments of pure happiness.
This life is so very precious. It is also fragile. I have had the honor of being present as caregiver to dear friends and family as they made their journey into death. It never fails to amaze me that one moment we're alive, and then we're not. Well not in the same way that is. Use the fragility of life to motivate you to stretch, challenge, and improve, TODAY!
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain!
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
The Cruel War is Raging!
I should explain that I am NOT anti soldiers! I am grateful and proud
of the men and women that serve in this way. I'm also incredibly
grateful for the strong women and men they leave behind. My own Father was a
veteran of World War II. He was incredibly proud of the service he
performed for his country. On the other hand he did NOT wish to talk
about the hand to hand combat, the friends that he saw shot, or blown
up. He wrote home in a letter, "Well, I have now seen war. It is not something that I wish to talk about..." The American flag meant something intrinsic and sacred to him. It
represented all of the lives of young men and women who died or were injured
in war.
To me, it seems that war is endless, and the lives of the soldiers, and their families are collateral damage.
Each and every generation has war songs! I am familiar only with the American variety, but I know that each and every land on the globe has their own war songs. You know the songs, Civil War, "The Cruel War is Raging, Johnny has to go, how I want to go with him, no my love no..."
Every time that I have heard this song I envision a young woman singing. In the American Civil War there were also older women singing. These women might have six, seven, oh so many children at home, AND a farm to keep running. Can you imagine with me how many women were sobbing into their pillows at night, trying to keep their fear and sorrow from their children?
War seems to have an initial appeal to young men. Something about the strategy, the sense of protecting and serving. I think that there should be one war when we only send the old men...the politicians behind the war. Let's leave the young men behind to create a new generation. If the old men have to fight...will war still be the answer?
There IS legitimate reason for war. Battle should be in the situation where our homes, our faith, our people have been attacked. Even then, shouldn't there be a better answer?
Moving on to other American fight songs. World War I brought, "Over there," "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me," and other songs for marching, and fighting.
World War II had music, the Korean Conflict had music, the war in Vietnam had songs. It seems as though every conflict that we face creates music. "Billy Don't be a Hero," "Soldier Boy Oh My Little Soldier Boy," and one that gets my blood pumping, "War...What Is It Good For...."
There has not been a single moment in time in my entire life when there is nobody, in no land, in anywhere on the globe that is not fighting, and causing people to die. I'M SICK OF IT! Can't we finally now realize that war does NOT create peace? That idea is ludicrous! It's like the foolish idea of my childhood when one sibling punches the other sibling and the parent spanks them for hitting their sibling. Or, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!"
I placed a video on Youtube, CJ Smith, Where Have all the Flowers Gone. It was originally sung by "Peter, Paul, and Mary." The lyrics take us on journey of a circle. It's a circle that I'm very familiar with, and oh how I wish that I could see it STOP in my lifetime!
There is one simple thing that we CAN do. Let's teach our children how to focus on things that we have in common with others. Let's STOP focusing on our differences. Let's teach the newest generation ways and means to problem solve and negotiate, instead of choosing conflict as our first choice. Wouldn't it be marvelous if we could create peace, even if it was just in our own sphere!
I will end with a quote that has changed my life. There was a time in my life when I was completely unable to do more than care for our children, and my husband. The house work often did not get done, and I wasn't able to connect with family and friends beyond my little sphere.
One day I received a card in the mail from a friend. In the card was a bookmark, and this is what it said, "When you can't make waves, MAKE RIPPLES." That's right, ripples, tiny, smooth water reactions to stimulus. The ripples do NOT stay tiny. No they spread outward, growing, and continuing out to the edge of the body of water.
Today, let's do our best to make those ripples. When we are tempted to judge others harshly, or to quarrel with anyone in our families, let's make a conscientious choice for peace. If we must communicate about issues that are controversial, let's do our best to take the emotional heat out of the discussion.
Let's not ever make the mistake of blaming our soldiers for the conflict in the world. I respect and honor the contributions of our soldiers. I would just wish that those old men that I spoke about before could work to find better solutions.
To me, it seems that war is endless, and the lives of the soldiers, and their families are collateral damage.
Each and every generation has war songs! I am familiar only with the American variety, but I know that each and every land on the globe has their own war songs. You know the songs, Civil War, "The Cruel War is Raging, Johnny has to go, how I want to go with him, no my love no..."
Every time that I have heard this song I envision a young woman singing. In the American Civil War there were also older women singing. These women might have six, seven, oh so many children at home, AND a farm to keep running. Can you imagine with me how many women were sobbing into their pillows at night, trying to keep their fear and sorrow from their children?
War seems to have an initial appeal to young men. Something about the strategy, the sense of protecting and serving. I think that there should be one war when we only send the old men...the politicians behind the war. Let's leave the young men behind to create a new generation. If the old men have to fight...will war still be the answer?
There IS legitimate reason for war. Battle should be in the situation where our homes, our faith, our people have been attacked. Even then, shouldn't there be a better answer?
Moving on to other American fight songs. World War I brought, "Over there," "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me," and other songs for marching, and fighting.
World War II had music, the Korean Conflict had music, the war in Vietnam had songs. It seems as though every conflict that we face creates music. "Billy Don't be a Hero," "Soldier Boy Oh My Little Soldier Boy," and one that gets my blood pumping, "War...What Is It Good For...."
There has not been a single moment in time in my entire life when there is nobody, in no land, in anywhere on the globe that is not fighting, and causing people to die. I'M SICK OF IT! Can't we finally now realize that war does NOT create peace? That idea is ludicrous! It's like the foolish idea of my childhood when one sibling punches the other sibling and the parent spanks them for hitting their sibling. Or, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!"
I placed a video on Youtube, CJ Smith, Where Have all the Flowers Gone. It was originally sung by "Peter, Paul, and Mary." The lyrics take us on journey of a circle. It's a circle that I'm very familiar with, and oh how I wish that I could see it STOP in my lifetime!
There is one simple thing that we CAN do. Let's teach our children how to focus on things that we have in common with others. Let's STOP focusing on our differences. Let's teach the newest generation ways and means to problem solve and negotiate, instead of choosing conflict as our first choice. Wouldn't it be marvelous if we could create peace, even if it was just in our own sphere!
I will end with a quote that has changed my life. There was a time in my life when I was completely unable to do more than care for our children, and my husband. The house work often did not get done, and I wasn't able to connect with family and friends beyond my little sphere.
One day I received a card in the mail from a friend. In the card was a bookmark, and this is what it said, "When you can't make waves, MAKE RIPPLES." That's right, ripples, tiny, smooth water reactions to stimulus. The ripples do NOT stay tiny. No they spread outward, growing, and continuing out to the edge of the body of water.
Today, let's do our best to make those ripples. When we are tempted to judge others harshly, or to quarrel with anyone in our families, let's make a conscientious choice for peace. If we must communicate about issues that are controversial, let's do our best to take the emotional heat out of the discussion.
Let's not ever make the mistake of blaming our soldiers for the conflict in the world. I respect and honor the contributions of our soldiers. I would just wish that those old men that I spoke about before could work to find better solutions.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Happy Woman's Day!
Once a year there is a special day. It's a day that was declared long ago for the purpose of paying tribute to our Mother's. I was blessed with an amazing Mother. She not only loved and nurtured her three biological children. She fostered many that came from hard homes and needed a caring adult in their lives.
On the other hand, I remember sitting in Mother's Day meetings at church as a young single adult, with no children. I watched as so many other women my age received a tribute gift, such as a plant, a nice recording, or a small book.
One year I taught Sunday School to ten darling little eight-year-olds. I sat in the front of the chapel with them on Mother's Day. They all sang a song to their Mother's and then came back and sat down with me.
When all of the congregant Mother's stood up to receive tribute gifts, a lovely little girl pulled on my arm. "Stand up. Why aren't you standing up?"
I whispered, "I'm not a Mother. I don't have any children."
She whispered back, in a fairly loud whisper. "You're like a Mother! Stand up!"
Mostly to quiet the loving child I stood up. I then felt ever so conspicuous as many questioning eyes turned my direction. I felt as though I was being judged, "You haven't any children! Why should you get recognized?"
In the years since I've come to recognize that the only one worrying about that was me. One of my favorite quotes has become, "What others think of you, is none of your business." Phew, what a relief. All of those years that I let others color MY self view, what a waste. I'm going to try my best to not let that happen anymore. (Unless, of course, it's a very nice point of view)!
The first year that I was a Mother, everything changed, well for me. It didn't change for so many other dear women that I knew that never had the opportunity to give birth in this life. I have friends who do NOT attend church on Mother's Day because it makes them feel less than. It makes them feel as though somehow something that they did or did not do precluded them from this privilege. There are women who never married, and there are women who married but can't give birth.
To all of the beloved women in my life, my Mother, Mother-in law, Grandma's, Aunts, Friends, Sisters, Daughters, and oh so many, many wonderful Women in my life, THANK YOU! Thank you for teaching me that you can be a Mom without giving birth. Thank you to those who have nurtured me with the tender love of a Mother when my own Mom's (I count my husband's Mom as one of mine) can't be here physically.
Thank you so many beloved women for teaching me that life is not about what you haven't got! It's about remembering each and every one of the blessings that you HAVE! It's ever so easy to focus on the negatives in life, which we all have, and much harder to sharpen our focus to the positives, which we all have.
So today, I will rejoice in the joy of being a Woman with all of the possible attending roles, a Mother, Daughter, Sister, Sister-in law, Friend, Grand-daughter, and on and on. There will always be people who need nurturing love. In the end it truly is a grand blessing to have others to love, whether or not you gave birth to them, or they gave birth to you.
On the other hand, I remember sitting in Mother's Day meetings at church as a young single adult, with no children. I watched as so many other women my age received a tribute gift, such as a plant, a nice recording, or a small book.
One year I taught Sunday School to ten darling little eight-year-olds. I sat in the front of the chapel with them on Mother's Day. They all sang a song to their Mother's and then came back and sat down with me.
When all of the congregant Mother's stood up to receive tribute gifts, a lovely little girl pulled on my arm. "Stand up. Why aren't you standing up?"
I whispered, "I'm not a Mother. I don't have any children."
She whispered back, in a fairly loud whisper. "You're like a Mother! Stand up!"
Mostly to quiet the loving child I stood up. I then felt ever so conspicuous as many questioning eyes turned my direction. I felt as though I was being judged, "You haven't any children! Why should you get recognized?"
In the years since I've come to recognize that the only one worrying about that was me. One of my favorite quotes has become, "What others think of you, is none of your business." Phew, what a relief. All of those years that I let others color MY self view, what a waste. I'm going to try my best to not let that happen anymore. (Unless, of course, it's a very nice point of view)!
The first year that I was a Mother, everything changed, well for me. It didn't change for so many other dear women that I knew that never had the opportunity to give birth in this life. I have friends who do NOT attend church on Mother's Day because it makes them feel less than. It makes them feel as though somehow something that they did or did not do precluded them from this privilege. There are women who never married, and there are women who married but can't give birth.
To all of the beloved women in my life, my Mother, Mother-in law, Grandma's, Aunts, Friends, Sisters, Daughters, and oh so many, many wonderful Women in my life, THANK YOU! Thank you for teaching me that you can be a Mom without giving birth. Thank you to those who have nurtured me with the tender love of a Mother when my own Mom's (I count my husband's Mom as one of mine) can't be here physically.
Thank you so many beloved women for teaching me that life is not about what you haven't got! It's about remembering each and every one of the blessings that you HAVE! It's ever so easy to focus on the negatives in life, which we all have, and much harder to sharpen our focus to the positives, which we all have.
So today, I will rejoice in the joy of being a Woman with all of the possible attending roles, a Mother, Daughter, Sister, Sister-in law, Friend, Grand-daughter, and on and on. There will always be people who need nurturing love. In the end it truly is a grand blessing to have others to love, whether or not you gave birth to them, or they gave birth to you.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Remember the Song?
"Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes. Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose." This is a song that I learned as a child. As you sing this simple song you do the actions. You touch each part of the anatomy that it is referencing. You sing it faster, and faster. I never lasted very long. Quickly I would be touching my toes when referring to my eyes, or touching my nose when I should be touching my mouth. As an adult teaching this fun little ditty to children, I'm even worse. That is a good thing for the kiddies as they laugh hard watching me flail about!
As a soon to be sixty year old woman I have learned a different version of this song. I preferred the original edition. In the version for folks fifty and older, when they sing, "Heads," they are possibly thinking how much they miss those remarkable abilities to think clearly, and memorize without a pause.
Shoulders? I know of at least four adults in my circle of friends that have had one or both replaced.
Knees? Oh that one is ever so personal for me. A little story will explain. I have had severe, grinding pain in my knees for at least a decade. I had issues before that, but the pain was always temporary. I went to a Orthopedic Physician's Assistant to see what was causing my severe pain.
Solemnly he walked into the room. He snapped an x-ray onto a lighted surface. Pointing to my knees he said matter-of-factly, "You have TERRIBLE knees!"
I felt like replying, "Thank you, yours aren't very pretty either." (Sarcasm is often my minds way of dealing with difficult things).
He pointed to my right knee. On the left side here, the joint is bone on bone. It's wearing the bone down in your lower leg. Your left knee is not quite as bad, but only because your right one is the worst of the two. You need both of them replaced, and as soon as possible. If you don't have the right knee replaced soon it will become more and more difficult to do the procedure."
As I picked my jaw up off the floor, (I was NOT expecting such dire news), I told him that I needed to go to another clinic because I had found out that my insurance did not cover this clinic as well as they would another clinic. Sigh...medicine by insurance, how did we let that happen?
Off I whisked to another clinic. This doctor echoed the first clinician's diagnosis. On the other hand, he gave me a tutorial of knees, how they are supposed to function, and what surgery is supposed to do.
I called my insurance to figure out how to get the surgery done. Imagine my sorrow when I was informed that they would only cover 80% of the surgery. Granted, it's a good thing to get at least 80% coverage for major surgery. The surgery can cost $10,000.00 or more. It's a bad thing when you're disabled and living on a teeny, tiny disability income.
I live in a charming home, with two sets of stairs. The stairs are a great blessing/curse. They are a blessing because they help me keep the muscles in the knees working and functional. The curse is because sometimes I can barely drag my TERRIBLE knees up and down.
Does anyone out there in cyber land know an orthopedic surgeon that would be willing to replace my knees for the payment from insurance? It has been two years since my negative knee diagnosis. My knees have NOT improved. I manage to keep going by virtue of various types of pain management. There is the alternative route, a topical rub that is made of essential oils, it's called Deep Blue. Deep Blue is undeniably helpful. Then there are lidocaine patches that literally numb the pain.
These tools are useful but they do not heal the wound. I know for a fact that pain has a purpose, a value. Pain is our bodies way of telling us to "Fix it!" If you have a terrible toothache, it is probably due to a decaying tooth. If you sprain your ankle it will hurt. Again your brain sends the same message, "Fix it!"
If you are unable to address the issue under the pain...as it lingers on, and on, more damage is caused. If you tear a ligament, or damage other soft tissue, it will continue to hurt, but the pain will become damaging to not only your wound, but the rest of your body. Fibromyalgia, and arthritis join the choir, and soon the pain issues are not only in your knee but may impact your internal organs, and cause more damage, which cause more pain, etc. etc. The worst type of cycle!
Back to the simple song. My childhood had periods of absolute wonder. I often marveled at our bodies and the many, many functions they perform at any given moment in time.
The wonder has changed. Oh I still think the human body is a marvel, but degeneration, also known as ageing, and chronic pain have changed my perspective.
I do not wish to end on a negative note. I am grateful every single day for the wonders of modern medicine, and the blending of western medicine combined with alternative medicine. Our bodies are remarkable, and when they have problems, there ARE ways to address the problems. "Heads, shoulders, knees, and toes...I'm so grateful to have all of these parts!
As a soon to be sixty year old woman I have learned a different version of this song. I preferred the original edition. In the version for folks fifty and older, when they sing, "Heads," they are possibly thinking how much they miss those remarkable abilities to think clearly, and memorize without a pause.
Shoulders? I know of at least four adults in my circle of friends that have had one or both replaced.
Knees? Oh that one is ever so personal for me. A little story will explain. I have had severe, grinding pain in my knees for at least a decade. I had issues before that, but the pain was always temporary. I went to a Orthopedic Physician's Assistant to see what was causing my severe pain.
Solemnly he walked into the room. He snapped an x-ray onto a lighted surface. Pointing to my knees he said matter-of-factly, "You have TERRIBLE knees!"
I felt like replying, "Thank you, yours aren't very pretty either." (Sarcasm is often my minds way of dealing with difficult things).
He pointed to my right knee. On the left side here, the joint is bone on bone. It's wearing the bone down in your lower leg. Your left knee is not quite as bad, but only because your right one is the worst of the two. You need both of them replaced, and as soon as possible. If you don't have the right knee replaced soon it will become more and more difficult to do the procedure."
As I picked my jaw up off the floor, (I was NOT expecting such dire news), I told him that I needed to go to another clinic because I had found out that my insurance did not cover this clinic as well as they would another clinic. Sigh...medicine by insurance, how did we let that happen?
Off I whisked to another clinic. This doctor echoed the first clinician's diagnosis. On the other hand, he gave me a tutorial of knees, how they are supposed to function, and what surgery is supposed to do.
I called my insurance to figure out how to get the surgery done. Imagine my sorrow when I was informed that they would only cover 80% of the surgery. Granted, it's a good thing to get at least 80% coverage for major surgery. The surgery can cost $10,000.00 or more. It's a bad thing when you're disabled and living on a teeny, tiny disability income.
I live in a charming home, with two sets of stairs. The stairs are a great blessing/curse. They are a blessing because they help me keep the muscles in the knees working and functional. The curse is because sometimes I can barely drag my TERRIBLE knees up and down.
Does anyone out there in cyber land know an orthopedic surgeon that would be willing to replace my knees for the payment from insurance? It has been two years since my negative knee diagnosis. My knees have NOT improved. I manage to keep going by virtue of various types of pain management. There is the alternative route, a topical rub that is made of essential oils, it's called Deep Blue. Deep Blue is undeniably helpful. Then there are lidocaine patches that literally numb the pain.
These tools are useful but they do not heal the wound. I know for a fact that pain has a purpose, a value. Pain is our bodies way of telling us to "Fix it!" If you have a terrible toothache, it is probably due to a decaying tooth. If you sprain your ankle it will hurt. Again your brain sends the same message, "Fix it!"
If you are unable to address the issue under the pain...as it lingers on, and on, more damage is caused. If you tear a ligament, or damage other soft tissue, it will continue to hurt, but the pain will become damaging to not only your wound, but the rest of your body. Fibromyalgia, and arthritis join the choir, and soon the pain issues are not only in your knee but may impact your internal organs, and cause more damage, which cause more pain, etc. etc. The worst type of cycle!
Back to the simple song. My childhood had periods of absolute wonder. I often marveled at our bodies and the many, many functions they perform at any given moment in time.
The wonder has changed. Oh I still think the human body is a marvel, but degeneration, also known as ageing, and chronic pain have changed my perspective.
I do not wish to end on a negative note. I am grateful every single day for the wonders of modern medicine, and the blending of western medicine combined with alternative medicine. Our bodies are remarkable, and when they have problems, there ARE ways to address the problems. "Heads, shoulders, knees, and toes...I'm so grateful to have all of these parts!
Monday, April 11, 2016
Toothless or Teethless That is the Question?
In my experience getting old is a good thing. I know, I know, I've heard all about how, "Getting Old Isn't for Sissies." That assessment is correct. Things become challenging as your brain power fades, your eye sight fades, and you may be faced with living with dentures. One of my beloved sisters of choice, is coping with going blind and deaf at eighty-nine. No, getting old is not easy. It is, in fact very difficult. Does that mean that life is miserable on a sliding scale of sorrow from 29 to death?
I was born old. Yessiree...not being able to breathe will make you feel old in a quick hurry. I didn't relate well to the kids of my age group. Well, there was that adorable little boy that lived around the corner who was in love with me. Ronny McClure, Irish Catholic, and as cute as a five year old boy could possibly be. He could ride a bicycle with NO TRAINING WHEELS! That achievement was ever so powerful to me. His eyes were blue as the bright sky, and his sunny blond hair was rumpled and tousled with curls. That was 54 years ago now but I can remember him clearer than I remember what I ate for dinner last night.
Science says that long term memory clarity and short term memory deficit are another sign of age. Or maybe my mind chooses to retain the best of the best in my memory? I mean dinner last night was pintos n cheese from Taco Bell. Not the most memorable of meals.
As a tiny child in a giant, adult sized bed in the hospital I heard clinicians whispering around me, "She won't live very long. She's too severely allergic. Her asthma is too severe, and she has very little immune system." Now that is a long term memory that I would LOVE to erase. AND YET...in that memory comes the realization that I not only lived...I found ways and means to THRIVE while I lived!!!
As I have moved through forty, fifty, and soon it will be sixty...I am filled with wonder. I am STILL ALIVE! I still AM alive. I awaken every morning to that lovely realization, I have more opportunities to live, grow, and experience!
I do not hesitate to give my true age when asked. I have earned each and every single year. Some of the years were hellishly hard. In fact, I jokingly say if I die and I'm ascribed to Hell, at least I will have seriously awesome coping strategies in place! (This is where we all laugh...hmmm...is typed laughter the same as canned laughter on a sit com)?
When we are speaking singularly of one dental bone that sticks up above the gum we call it a tooth. When we refer to more than one dental bone it becomes teeth. The title of this post refers to the loss of one tooth? Toothless? Or all teeth, teethless? Or some how when all your teeth are gone you are now toothless? Even though tooth is in reference to a singular item in your mouth used for chewing, in the plural form now it is called toothless? Ah....the vagaries of the English language.
Yesterday I had a miserable experience. I had all my teeth pulled almost a year ago. I had to have implants placed in my lower gums. Two implants that are affixed so that they will attach my denture to my bones. One of them was healed properly...HALLELUJAH! The other nasty, miserable, little beast decided to heal incorrectly! RATS!!!
I kept trying to tell myself that it wouldn't be too bad...I mean, my mouth was numbed and I had nitrous (laughing gas) on board. It was bad...VERY bad. It felt as though the dentist was trying to drill to my foot through my chin. (A fanciful idea, granted, but that's what it felt like). TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH! What a precious gift it is to be able to chew your food with strong, healthy teeth.
The only good thing about days like yesterday is that they don't last. Today, the sun is shining, I was able to dance. I didn't dance a lot, but it was lovely to move. I'm ALIVE! Those that love me think I look adorable without teeth. I don't necessarily share that opinion but I don't have to look at me. They do.
Back to the beginning. I AM still grateful to be alive. I still can reach out and love all those that are dear to me, and make new friends as well. I still feel well enough to dance, or go for a walk some of the time. On those days that I don't feel well enough to do active things that I enjoy the very most, I can still play on the computer, call dear ones, and sing.
Every day above ground is a cause for celebration! Even for those of us who are now rocking the toothless, teethless, look!
I was born old. Yessiree...not being able to breathe will make you feel old in a quick hurry. I didn't relate well to the kids of my age group. Well, there was that adorable little boy that lived around the corner who was in love with me. Ronny McClure, Irish Catholic, and as cute as a five year old boy could possibly be. He could ride a bicycle with NO TRAINING WHEELS! That achievement was ever so powerful to me. His eyes were blue as the bright sky, and his sunny blond hair was rumpled and tousled with curls. That was 54 years ago now but I can remember him clearer than I remember what I ate for dinner last night.
Science says that long term memory clarity and short term memory deficit are another sign of age. Or maybe my mind chooses to retain the best of the best in my memory? I mean dinner last night was pintos n cheese from Taco Bell. Not the most memorable of meals.
As a tiny child in a giant, adult sized bed in the hospital I heard clinicians whispering around me, "She won't live very long. She's too severely allergic. Her asthma is too severe, and she has very little immune system." Now that is a long term memory that I would LOVE to erase. AND YET...in that memory comes the realization that I not only lived...I found ways and means to THRIVE while I lived!!!
As I have moved through forty, fifty, and soon it will be sixty...I am filled with wonder. I am STILL ALIVE! I still AM alive. I awaken every morning to that lovely realization, I have more opportunities to live, grow, and experience!
I do not hesitate to give my true age when asked. I have earned each and every single year. Some of the years were hellishly hard. In fact, I jokingly say if I die and I'm ascribed to Hell, at least I will have seriously awesome coping strategies in place! (This is where we all laugh...hmmm...is typed laughter the same as canned laughter on a sit com)?
When we are speaking singularly of one dental bone that sticks up above the gum we call it a tooth. When we refer to more than one dental bone it becomes teeth. The title of this post refers to the loss of one tooth? Toothless? Or all teeth, teethless? Or some how when all your teeth are gone you are now toothless? Even though tooth is in reference to a singular item in your mouth used for chewing, in the plural form now it is called toothless? Ah....the vagaries of the English language.
Yesterday I had a miserable experience. I had all my teeth pulled almost a year ago. I had to have implants placed in my lower gums. Two implants that are affixed so that they will attach my denture to my bones. One of them was healed properly...HALLELUJAH! The other nasty, miserable, little beast decided to heal incorrectly! RATS!!!
I kept trying to tell myself that it wouldn't be too bad...I mean, my mouth was numbed and I had nitrous (laughing gas) on board. It was bad...VERY bad. It felt as though the dentist was trying to drill to my foot through my chin. (A fanciful idea, granted, but that's what it felt like). TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH! What a precious gift it is to be able to chew your food with strong, healthy teeth.
The only good thing about days like yesterday is that they don't last. Today, the sun is shining, I was able to dance. I didn't dance a lot, but it was lovely to move. I'm ALIVE! Those that love me think I look adorable without teeth. I don't necessarily share that opinion but I don't have to look at me. They do.
Back to the beginning. I AM still grateful to be alive. I still can reach out and love all those that are dear to me, and make new friends as well. I still feel well enough to dance, or go for a walk some of the time. On those days that I don't feel well enough to do active things that I enjoy the very most, I can still play on the computer, call dear ones, and sing.
Every day above ground is a cause for celebration! Even for those of us who are now rocking the toothless, teethless, look!
Hope for a Bright Future
He is ever so handsome. He's also young enough to be my son! How odd it is to become old. For
the first around forty-five years of my life all of my clinicians were older than I was. Now that has turned backwards. It's VERY rare for me to go to any type of clinician that is my age or older.
This particular, extremely handsome, clinician is an oral surgeon. He only removes teeth. What a modern wonder it is to have this surgery. My Grandma, my Mom's Mom had to have all of her teeth pulled when she was just 19. There was no Novacaine, no Nitrous, and certainly no general anesthesia. Her father held her down while each tooth was painfully extracted.
I write Western American historical fiction novels. I enjoy doing research on the history of that remarkable era. On the other hand, if I could have been born then instead of now...NO THANKS! I hear so many people speaking negatively of the time in which we live. I wish to remind them that we have a smart phone that is also a computer, camera, recorder, calendar, notes, and oh so many more functions. We can reach out to loved ones across the world in seconds.
Medicine has come a very long way. Instead of doing exploratory surgery to see why someone was ill, now we have diagnostics like x-ray, CT scans, MRI scans, and they can be used to create a 3D image of your anatomy.
When my family was in a horrific accident my husband broke five levels of his back. He also broke all twelve ribs, his right arm, and he broke his shoulder. He also suffered a punctured lung, and multiple other damaged internal organs. The trauma team was able to find his broken back by doing a 3D CT scan of his ribs. Since the diagnostic was 3D, they were able to roll it around his body, and that's how they found the back damage.
If you have chronic pain, there is a computerized pain pump, or an electrical stimulator to ease some of that pain...at least to make it more bearable. Diabetics have specialty pumps and machines to continually judge their blood sugar levels. There are heart and lung transplants, as well as most other organs. The medical world has exploded with new knowledge just in the last 10 years!
Our grandparents only had expectations of living into their 70s. Now? One hundred is a fair goal to shoot towards. Think of that...that's ten decades of one day at a time. Somebody out in the cyber world can do the math. How many days do you live to reach one hundred years? How many weeks, and months do you experience to live that long?
I have a one hundred and eighty degree view of spring's lyrical loveliness from our kitchen table. I sit here looking at the intense green of renewal. A squirrel who is very chubby scampers about the backyard in grass that is taller than he is. Puffy wisps of clouds waft along in a sky of brilliant blue.
How do we find the positive, a focus on joy, in a life that often seems crowded with trouble? It's not denying that trouble exists. No, it's looking beyond those troubles. It's seeing the beauty that IS in this world. It's being grateful for renewal in nature, but more especially in ourselves.
Today, reach past your troubles. Find beauty, for beauty can lead to joy. If joy is beyond your reach, then squeeze hope out of the minutes as they pass. There is ALWAYS hope that things will get better!
the first around forty-five years of my life all of my clinicians were older than I was. Now that has turned backwards. It's VERY rare for me to go to any type of clinician that is my age or older.
This particular, extremely handsome, clinician is an oral surgeon. He only removes teeth. What a modern wonder it is to have this surgery. My Grandma, my Mom's Mom had to have all of her teeth pulled when she was just 19. There was no Novacaine, no Nitrous, and certainly no general anesthesia. Her father held her down while each tooth was painfully extracted.
I write Western American historical fiction novels. I enjoy doing research on the history of that remarkable era. On the other hand, if I could have been born then instead of now...NO THANKS! I hear so many people speaking negatively of the time in which we live. I wish to remind them that we have a smart phone that is also a computer, camera, recorder, calendar, notes, and oh so many more functions. We can reach out to loved ones across the world in seconds.
Medicine has come a very long way. Instead of doing exploratory surgery to see why someone was ill, now we have diagnostics like x-ray, CT scans, MRI scans, and they can be used to create a 3D image of your anatomy.
When my family was in a horrific accident my husband broke five levels of his back. He also broke all twelve ribs, his right arm, and he broke his shoulder. He also suffered a punctured lung, and multiple other damaged internal organs. The trauma team was able to find his broken back by doing a 3D CT scan of his ribs. Since the diagnostic was 3D, they were able to roll it around his body, and that's how they found the back damage.
If you have chronic pain, there is a computerized pain pump, or an electrical stimulator to ease some of that pain...at least to make it more bearable. Diabetics have specialty pumps and machines to continually judge their blood sugar levels. There are heart and lung transplants, as well as most other organs. The medical world has exploded with new knowledge just in the last 10 years!
Our grandparents only had expectations of living into their 70s. Now? One hundred is a fair goal to shoot towards. Think of that...that's ten decades of one day at a time. Somebody out in the cyber world can do the math. How many days do you live to reach one hundred years? How many weeks, and months do you experience to live that long?
I have a one hundred and eighty degree view of spring's lyrical loveliness from our kitchen table. I sit here looking at the intense green of renewal. A squirrel who is very chubby scampers about the backyard in grass that is taller than he is. Puffy wisps of clouds waft along in a sky of brilliant blue.
How do we find the positive, a focus on joy, in a life that often seems crowded with trouble? It's not denying that trouble exists. No, it's looking beyond those troubles. It's seeing the beauty that IS in this world. It's being grateful for renewal in nature, but more especially in ourselves.
Today, reach past your troubles. Find beauty, for beauty can lead to joy. If joy is beyond your reach, then squeeze hope out of the minutes as they pass. There is ALWAYS hope that things will get better!
Friday, April 8, 2016
There is No Tomorrow...
One of my favorite hymns is "Today While the Sun Shines." The lyrics have purpose for everyone. "Today while the sun shines work with a will. Today all your labors and duties fulfill...there is no tomorrow but only today." Those three dots indicate a break in the lyrics leading to the final line.
Living with a disability of any type...something that limits your abilities and capabilities, is difficult on so many levels. One of the worst is the feeling that you are ALWAYS behind. As the sun wakes you up in the morning you must make decisions about how you will use the teeny, tiny, bit of energy that you possess.
For example:
1. Need to do household tasks? You may need to wash dishes, mop floors, and fold and put away the laundry. Your energy may allow you to do one or two of those tasks, but that other task remains because your energy level is done.
2. What if you are raising children, or grandchildren? You need to find creative ways to have them help you with the day to day necessities of modern living. Children are not neat and tidy...they are messy. They have emotions, and ideas far different from yours. So, just trying to shepherd them can take an immense amount of energy.
3. What if YOU are caregiver to your spouse, or a beloved parent? Just waking up and getting dressed may seem insurmountable.
4. Let's understand one concept right now. When you are disabled you can't PUSH yourself to do more. When your body is done...you can't move one more step, or deal with one more daily need. YOU ARE DONE!
5. Choices? How do you prioritize your day and then make choices and changes as you move along? It's very easy to become isolated. How can friends depend on you when you can't depend on yourself, and what you'll be able to do from day to day? Discouragement is an easy companion. If you are already clinically depressed (which most people with any type of disability are), and then you're discouraged on top of that, it's a recipe for disaster.
6. When I was Executive Secretary of Finance, I had to start my day by prioritizing tasks. As I moved through my day I was often interrupted by phone calls, or personnel who needed clarification on this or that item. I taught myself to be flexible. The hardest thing about my job was that there were constant little crises to address. It made it hard to stay on a linear path of daily, weekly, monthly duties. That job has helped me in my life of day to day constant fires to put out, but still striving to achieve desired goals.
So what is this point of all these ruminations? TODAY...is important...this day...and there is no tomorrow.
Focus on what you CAN do today, and not on what you CAN'T. This might mean that your house is a cluttered mess frequently. On the other hand, it may mean that you teach your children teamwork. After all, they eat on the dishes, walk on the floors, and wear the clothes. There is no reason why they can't learn to assist you with age related duties.
In Portland I had an assistant who came in 3 or 4 times a week. (Due to physical health challenges). To receive this assistance I had to go through an interview with a caseworker every 6 months. One of the questions that he asked was, "How many good days do you have and how many bad days?" I HATED that question. I did NOT wish to give any of my days away to "bad!"
I gave the concept a great deal of meditation, and prayer. The answer came. I needed to change the NAME of my days. I no longer call days "bad." Instead I have active days and quiet days. This may seem like a small thing to those who have never had to characterize their days as bad and good. To anyone who faces physical or mental challenge it's HUGE! I made a list of "quiet" day activities. On these days I can do the tasks that I rarely seem to find time for on active days. I write letters, call friends, play on Facebook, write, write more, nap, (and oh what a glorious thing a nap can be on sunshiny day surrounded by my furlined friends (two small doggies, and one large kitty). I do my very best to not let the reason for my quiet pull me down. On the other hand if I need to vent, I call a trusted friend. It never fails to amaze me how venting to someone who cares, lifts me. When someone that I love vents to me, it also lifts me.
Now any of you blessed folks who don't face disability or challenge might think, what does this post have to do with me. Luckily for you, I'll tell you! Each and every human that is born on this planet has in common the framework of time. We all have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. I personally believe that it's extremely wise to recognize all the opportunities that we have for new. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year is brand new. The moments of the past exist only in our memories. The moments of the future will be gone when we arrive. Tomorrow is an abstract concept. When we go to sleep and then arrive, it is no longer tomorrow, it's today.
We all will face challenge of one type or another in our lives. We can see the challenge as overwhelming, or we can see them as stepping stones to help us grow and improve. Can you wake up in the morning, no matter what obstacles you may be facing, and think, "Wow, a brand new chance to grow and learn!" If you can, renewal is reality. Let me say that again, renewal is reality.
One last thought. We are all born with a huge symbolic canvas bag to put our problems, trials, or challenges in. If we keep putting those negative things in that bag it becomes heavier and heavier. If we never remove any of those things by going through the healing process it will not take very long before that bag weighs so much that we can no longer more forward into renewal. Now we're stuck, and every day seems to be a continuation of the negative from the past.
Today, do a visual exercise. In your mind imagine all of those nasty, negative experiences, or problems, and dump them into a huge vast hole. Watch them one by one go down, down, down, far away from you. As you finish emptying the bag, feel how light you feel? As a matter of fact, you feel so light, that you jump up and kick your heels together (remember this is NOT an actual physical idea, it's symbolic).
Renewal...I have not lived this next second yet...what new thing can I find to fill it with?
Living with a disability of any type...something that limits your abilities and capabilities, is difficult on so many levels. One of the worst is the feeling that you are ALWAYS behind. As the sun wakes you up in the morning you must make decisions about how you will use the teeny, tiny, bit of energy that you possess.
For example:
1. Need to do household tasks? You may need to wash dishes, mop floors, and fold and put away the laundry. Your energy may allow you to do one or two of those tasks, but that other task remains because your energy level is done.
2. What if you are raising children, or grandchildren? You need to find creative ways to have them help you with the day to day necessities of modern living. Children are not neat and tidy...they are messy. They have emotions, and ideas far different from yours. So, just trying to shepherd them can take an immense amount of energy.
3. What if YOU are caregiver to your spouse, or a beloved parent? Just waking up and getting dressed may seem insurmountable.
4. Let's understand one concept right now. When you are disabled you can't PUSH yourself to do more. When your body is done...you can't move one more step, or deal with one more daily need. YOU ARE DONE!
5. Choices? How do you prioritize your day and then make choices and changes as you move along? It's very easy to become isolated. How can friends depend on you when you can't depend on yourself, and what you'll be able to do from day to day? Discouragement is an easy companion. If you are already clinically depressed (which most people with any type of disability are), and then you're discouraged on top of that, it's a recipe for disaster.
6. When I was Executive Secretary of Finance, I had to start my day by prioritizing tasks. As I moved through my day I was often interrupted by phone calls, or personnel who needed clarification on this or that item. I taught myself to be flexible. The hardest thing about my job was that there were constant little crises to address. It made it hard to stay on a linear path of daily, weekly, monthly duties. That job has helped me in my life of day to day constant fires to put out, but still striving to achieve desired goals.
So what is this point of all these ruminations? TODAY...is important...this day...and there is no tomorrow.
Focus on what you CAN do today, and not on what you CAN'T. This might mean that your house is a cluttered mess frequently. On the other hand, it may mean that you teach your children teamwork. After all, they eat on the dishes, walk on the floors, and wear the clothes. There is no reason why they can't learn to assist you with age related duties.
In Portland I had an assistant who came in 3 or 4 times a week. (Due to physical health challenges). To receive this assistance I had to go through an interview with a caseworker every 6 months. One of the questions that he asked was, "How many good days do you have and how many bad days?" I HATED that question. I did NOT wish to give any of my days away to "bad!"
I gave the concept a great deal of meditation, and prayer. The answer came. I needed to change the NAME of my days. I no longer call days "bad." Instead I have active days and quiet days. This may seem like a small thing to those who have never had to characterize their days as bad and good. To anyone who faces physical or mental challenge it's HUGE! I made a list of "quiet" day activities. On these days I can do the tasks that I rarely seem to find time for on active days. I write letters, call friends, play on Facebook, write, write more, nap, (and oh what a glorious thing a nap can be on sunshiny day surrounded by my furlined friends (two small doggies, and one large kitty). I do my very best to not let the reason for my quiet pull me down. On the other hand if I need to vent, I call a trusted friend. It never fails to amaze me how venting to someone who cares, lifts me. When someone that I love vents to me, it also lifts me.
Now any of you blessed folks who don't face disability or challenge might think, what does this post have to do with me. Luckily for you, I'll tell you! Each and every human that is born on this planet has in common the framework of time. We all have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. I personally believe that it's extremely wise to recognize all the opportunities that we have for new. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year is brand new. The moments of the past exist only in our memories. The moments of the future will be gone when we arrive. Tomorrow is an abstract concept. When we go to sleep and then arrive, it is no longer tomorrow, it's today.
We all will face challenge of one type or another in our lives. We can see the challenge as overwhelming, or we can see them as stepping stones to help us grow and improve. Can you wake up in the morning, no matter what obstacles you may be facing, and think, "Wow, a brand new chance to grow and learn!" If you can, renewal is reality. Let me say that again, renewal is reality.
One last thought. We are all born with a huge symbolic canvas bag to put our problems, trials, or challenges in. If we keep putting those negative things in that bag it becomes heavier and heavier. If we never remove any of those things by going through the healing process it will not take very long before that bag weighs so much that we can no longer more forward into renewal. Now we're stuck, and every day seems to be a continuation of the negative from the past.
Today, do a visual exercise. In your mind imagine all of those nasty, negative experiences, or problems, and dump them into a huge vast hole. Watch them one by one go down, down, down, far away from you. As you finish emptying the bag, feel how light you feel? As a matter of fact, you feel so light, that you jump up and kick your heels together (remember this is NOT an actual physical idea, it's symbolic).
Renewal...I have not lived this next second yet...what new thing can I find to fill it with?
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