He is ever so handsome. He's also young enough to be my son! How odd it is to become old. For
the first around forty-five years of my life all of my clinicians were older than I was. Now that has turned backwards. It's VERY rare for me to go to any type of clinician that is my age or older.
This particular, extremely handsome, clinician is an oral surgeon. He only removes teeth. What a modern wonder it is to have this surgery. My Grandma, my Mom's Mom had to have all of her teeth pulled when she was just 19. There was no Novacaine, no Nitrous, and certainly no general anesthesia. Her father held her down while each tooth was painfully extracted.
I write Western American historical fiction novels. I enjoy doing research on the history of that remarkable era. On the other hand, if I could have been born then instead of now...NO THANKS! I hear so many people speaking negatively of the time in which we live. I wish to remind them that we have a smart phone that is also a computer, camera, recorder, calendar, notes, and oh so many more functions. We can reach out to loved ones across the world in seconds.
Medicine has come a very long way. Instead of doing exploratory surgery to see why someone was ill, now we have diagnostics like x-ray, CT scans, MRI scans, and they can be used to create a 3D image of your anatomy.
When my family was in a horrific accident my husband broke five levels of his back. He also broke all twelve ribs, his right arm, and he broke his shoulder. He also suffered a punctured lung, and multiple other damaged internal organs. The trauma team was able to find his broken back by doing a 3D CT scan of his ribs. Since the diagnostic was 3D, they were able to roll it around his body, and that's how they found the back damage.
If you have chronic pain, there is a computerized pain pump, or an electrical stimulator to ease some of that pain...at least to make it more bearable. Diabetics have specialty pumps and machines to continually judge their blood sugar levels. There are heart and lung transplants, as well as most other organs. The medical world has exploded with new knowledge just in the last 10 years!
Our grandparents only had expectations of living into their 70s. Now? One hundred is a fair goal to shoot towards. Think of that...that's ten decades of one day at a time. Somebody out in the cyber world can do the math. How many days do you live to reach one hundred years? How many weeks, and months do you experience to live that long?
I have a one hundred and eighty degree view of spring's lyrical loveliness from our kitchen table. I sit here looking at the intense green of renewal. A squirrel who is very chubby scampers about the backyard in grass that is taller than he is. Puffy wisps of clouds waft along in a sky of brilliant blue.
How do we find the positive, a focus on joy, in a life that often seems crowded with trouble? It's not denying that trouble exists. No, it's looking beyond those troubles. It's seeing the beauty that IS in this world. It's being grateful for renewal in nature, but more especially in ourselves.
Today, reach past your troubles. Find beauty, for beauty can lead to joy. If joy is beyond your reach, then squeeze hope out of the minutes as they pass. There is ALWAYS hope that things will get better!
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain!
Monday, April 11, 2016
Friday, April 8, 2016
There is No Tomorrow...
One of my favorite hymns is "Today While the Sun Shines." The lyrics have purpose for everyone. "Today while the sun shines work with a will. Today all your labors and duties fulfill...there is no tomorrow but only today." Those three dots indicate a break in the lyrics leading to the final line.
Living with a disability of any type...something that limits your abilities and capabilities, is difficult on so many levels. One of the worst is the feeling that you are ALWAYS behind. As the sun wakes you up in the morning you must make decisions about how you will use the teeny, tiny, bit of energy that you possess.
For example:
1. Need to do household tasks? You may need to wash dishes, mop floors, and fold and put away the laundry. Your energy may allow you to do one or two of those tasks, but that other task remains because your energy level is done.
2. What if you are raising children, or grandchildren? You need to find creative ways to have them help you with the day to day necessities of modern living. Children are not neat and tidy...they are messy. They have emotions, and ideas far different from yours. So, just trying to shepherd them can take an immense amount of energy.
3. What if YOU are caregiver to your spouse, or a beloved parent? Just waking up and getting dressed may seem insurmountable.
4. Let's understand one concept right now. When you are disabled you can't PUSH yourself to do more. When your body is done...you can't move one more step, or deal with one more daily need. YOU ARE DONE!
5. Choices? How do you prioritize your day and then make choices and changes as you move along? It's very easy to become isolated. How can friends depend on you when you can't depend on yourself, and what you'll be able to do from day to day? Discouragement is an easy companion. If you are already clinically depressed (which most people with any type of disability are), and then you're discouraged on top of that, it's a recipe for disaster.
6. When I was Executive Secretary of Finance, I had to start my day by prioritizing tasks. As I moved through my day I was often interrupted by phone calls, or personnel who needed clarification on this or that item. I taught myself to be flexible. The hardest thing about my job was that there were constant little crises to address. It made it hard to stay on a linear path of daily, weekly, monthly duties. That job has helped me in my life of day to day constant fires to put out, but still striving to achieve desired goals.
So what is this point of all these ruminations? TODAY...is important...this day...and there is no tomorrow.
Focus on what you CAN do today, and not on what you CAN'T. This might mean that your house is a cluttered mess frequently. On the other hand, it may mean that you teach your children teamwork. After all, they eat on the dishes, walk on the floors, and wear the clothes. There is no reason why they can't learn to assist you with age related duties.
In Portland I had an assistant who came in 3 or 4 times a week. (Due to physical health challenges). To receive this assistance I had to go through an interview with a caseworker every 6 months. One of the questions that he asked was, "How many good days do you have and how many bad days?" I HATED that question. I did NOT wish to give any of my days away to "bad!"
I gave the concept a great deal of meditation, and prayer. The answer came. I needed to change the NAME of my days. I no longer call days "bad." Instead I have active days and quiet days. This may seem like a small thing to those who have never had to characterize their days as bad and good. To anyone who faces physical or mental challenge it's HUGE! I made a list of "quiet" day activities. On these days I can do the tasks that I rarely seem to find time for on active days. I write letters, call friends, play on Facebook, write, write more, nap, (and oh what a glorious thing a nap can be on sunshiny day surrounded by my furlined friends (two small doggies, and one large kitty). I do my very best to not let the reason for my quiet pull me down. On the other hand if I need to vent, I call a trusted friend. It never fails to amaze me how venting to someone who cares, lifts me. When someone that I love vents to me, it also lifts me.
Now any of you blessed folks who don't face disability or challenge might think, what does this post have to do with me. Luckily for you, I'll tell you! Each and every human that is born on this planet has in common the framework of time. We all have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. I personally believe that it's extremely wise to recognize all the opportunities that we have for new. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year is brand new. The moments of the past exist only in our memories. The moments of the future will be gone when we arrive. Tomorrow is an abstract concept. When we go to sleep and then arrive, it is no longer tomorrow, it's today.
We all will face challenge of one type or another in our lives. We can see the challenge as overwhelming, or we can see them as stepping stones to help us grow and improve. Can you wake up in the morning, no matter what obstacles you may be facing, and think, "Wow, a brand new chance to grow and learn!" If you can, renewal is reality. Let me say that again, renewal is reality.
One last thought. We are all born with a huge symbolic canvas bag to put our problems, trials, or challenges in. If we keep putting those negative things in that bag it becomes heavier and heavier. If we never remove any of those things by going through the healing process it will not take very long before that bag weighs so much that we can no longer more forward into renewal. Now we're stuck, and every day seems to be a continuation of the negative from the past.
Today, do a visual exercise. In your mind imagine all of those nasty, negative experiences, or problems, and dump them into a huge vast hole. Watch them one by one go down, down, down, far away from you. As you finish emptying the bag, feel how light you feel? As a matter of fact, you feel so light, that you jump up and kick your heels together (remember this is NOT an actual physical idea, it's symbolic).
Renewal...I have not lived this next second yet...what new thing can I find to fill it with?
Living with a disability of any type...something that limits your abilities and capabilities, is difficult on so many levels. One of the worst is the feeling that you are ALWAYS behind. As the sun wakes you up in the morning you must make decisions about how you will use the teeny, tiny, bit of energy that you possess.
For example:
1. Need to do household tasks? You may need to wash dishes, mop floors, and fold and put away the laundry. Your energy may allow you to do one or two of those tasks, but that other task remains because your energy level is done.
2. What if you are raising children, or grandchildren? You need to find creative ways to have them help you with the day to day necessities of modern living. Children are not neat and tidy...they are messy. They have emotions, and ideas far different from yours. So, just trying to shepherd them can take an immense amount of energy.
3. What if YOU are caregiver to your spouse, or a beloved parent? Just waking up and getting dressed may seem insurmountable.
4. Let's understand one concept right now. When you are disabled you can't PUSH yourself to do more. When your body is done...you can't move one more step, or deal with one more daily need. YOU ARE DONE!
5. Choices? How do you prioritize your day and then make choices and changes as you move along? It's very easy to become isolated. How can friends depend on you when you can't depend on yourself, and what you'll be able to do from day to day? Discouragement is an easy companion. If you are already clinically depressed (which most people with any type of disability are), and then you're discouraged on top of that, it's a recipe for disaster.
6. When I was Executive Secretary of Finance, I had to start my day by prioritizing tasks. As I moved through my day I was often interrupted by phone calls, or personnel who needed clarification on this or that item. I taught myself to be flexible. The hardest thing about my job was that there were constant little crises to address. It made it hard to stay on a linear path of daily, weekly, monthly duties. That job has helped me in my life of day to day constant fires to put out, but still striving to achieve desired goals.
So what is this point of all these ruminations? TODAY...is important...this day...and there is no tomorrow.
Focus on what you CAN do today, and not on what you CAN'T. This might mean that your house is a cluttered mess frequently. On the other hand, it may mean that you teach your children teamwork. After all, they eat on the dishes, walk on the floors, and wear the clothes. There is no reason why they can't learn to assist you with age related duties.
In Portland I had an assistant who came in 3 or 4 times a week. (Due to physical health challenges). To receive this assistance I had to go through an interview with a caseworker every 6 months. One of the questions that he asked was, "How many good days do you have and how many bad days?" I HATED that question. I did NOT wish to give any of my days away to "bad!"
I gave the concept a great deal of meditation, and prayer. The answer came. I needed to change the NAME of my days. I no longer call days "bad." Instead I have active days and quiet days. This may seem like a small thing to those who have never had to characterize their days as bad and good. To anyone who faces physical or mental challenge it's HUGE! I made a list of "quiet" day activities. On these days I can do the tasks that I rarely seem to find time for on active days. I write letters, call friends, play on Facebook, write, write more, nap, (and oh what a glorious thing a nap can be on sunshiny day surrounded by my furlined friends (two small doggies, and one large kitty). I do my very best to not let the reason for my quiet pull me down. On the other hand if I need to vent, I call a trusted friend. It never fails to amaze me how venting to someone who cares, lifts me. When someone that I love vents to me, it also lifts me.
Now any of you blessed folks who don't face disability or challenge might think, what does this post have to do with me. Luckily for you, I'll tell you! Each and every human that is born on this planet has in common the framework of time. We all have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. I personally believe that it's extremely wise to recognize all the opportunities that we have for new. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year is brand new. The moments of the past exist only in our memories. The moments of the future will be gone when we arrive. Tomorrow is an abstract concept. When we go to sleep and then arrive, it is no longer tomorrow, it's today.
We all will face challenge of one type or another in our lives. We can see the challenge as overwhelming, or we can see them as stepping stones to help us grow and improve. Can you wake up in the morning, no matter what obstacles you may be facing, and think, "Wow, a brand new chance to grow and learn!" If you can, renewal is reality. Let me say that again, renewal is reality.
One last thought. We are all born with a huge symbolic canvas bag to put our problems, trials, or challenges in. If we keep putting those negative things in that bag it becomes heavier and heavier. If we never remove any of those things by going through the healing process it will not take very long before that bag weighs so much that we can no longer more forward into renewal. Now we're stuck, and every day seems to be a continuation of the negative from the past.
Today, do a visual exercise. In your mind imagine all of those nasty, negative experiences, or problems, and dump them into a huge vast hole. Watch them one by one go down, down, down, far away from you. As you finish emptying the bag, feel how light you feel? As a matter of fact, you feel so light, that you jump up and kick your heels together (remember this is NOT an actual physical idea, it's symbolic).
Renewal...I have not lived this next second yet...what new thing can I find to fill it with?
Monday, March 7, 2016
Bitter to Sweet
It snowed last night. For about a half hour the world seemed to drink with thirst the heavy snowflakes as they fell. There is one thing that I adore about March. If snow falls...it rarely lasts more than a few hours. It seems that as it melts the earth has new flowers pushing from the sleepy earth.
The other night was bitter. As the weather changed from warm to cold snow it seemed to fill, snag, and push at every nerve in my body. I have damage throughout my back: 1. Multiple car accidents (I'm a very safe driver but I have had the misfortune of riding with UNSAFE drivers)2. Many falls apparently I sometimes make the mistake of NOT looking before I leap. 3. Heredity, I can't BLAME my parents, they faced many of the same challenges.
The nerves in my hands were especially annoyed. Unless you have felt the anger of nerve damage, unless you have done your best to simply "hang in there," (a phrase that I hate, but sometimes is the best I can do), unless you have watched helplessly as your hands, legs, and feet start to jerk and twist without your permission, unless you have witnessed a beloved child face these challenges, unless you have witnessed a dear spouse face these things, UNLESS, UNLESS, UNLESS you may not understand what this post is about.
There are far too many ways actions that lead to bitter. There is the bitterness of children trapped into sexual slavery, and human bondage. There is the bitter struggle of mental health challenge. How well would you handle having relentless voices always close to provide you with hideous images of pain, death, and evil...and some nights nothing you do seem to hush them. Facing the death of a loved one as the earth is stilled and dark. Oh YES, there are far too many times, places, and ways, to have a bitter night.
I believe that almost every human that walks this earth will at some point have a bitter night. This will be a night when light seems to be swallowed. Bitter will feel as though it will chew you up and spit you out.
Just as you feel to give up all hope, faith, or thought of redemption, the darkness will gather itself in a dark cloak. Light will grow, stretch, then become brighter and brighter. The birds will greet the newness of this day with songs of joy. Somehow...some way, morning will again greet the sleeping earth.
A small child lies in her tired Mother's lap. She is being rocked, and comforted with loving songs. The child is fearful, restless, gasping to draw enough oxygen into her tiny body to breathe. The struggle is momentous, especially since the only remedy is to obtain oxygen by taking her to the hospital when her breathing becomes dangerously impaired. The hospital bills are high. Finances are stretched.
Yet redemption is always a short time away. As the darkness is pushed away by the light, a new day, a new chance, a NEW SWEET is formed that masters the bitter. In this moment, this blessed moment, the pain shrinks, the air is more breatheable. Hope is renewed for a joyous future.
How does the sweet redeem the bitter? Should we try to ignore the bitter? NO! It is a strange idea but so true, that some how, some way, the darkness, bitterness, make the renewing of morning seem even sweeter. Yes, there will be other bitter nights. That is the reality of living. On the other hand, there will be redemptive mornings when shadings of light, and the reflections of joy, will paint the sky in radiant pink, orange, and brilliant. The birds will sing their triumphant welcome to the new day.
The other night was bitter. As the weather changed from warm to cold snow it seemed to fill, snag, and push at every nerve in my body. I have damage throughout my back: 1. Multiple car accidents (I'm a very safe driver but I have had the misfortune of riding with UNSAFE drivers)2. Many falls apparently I sometimes make the mistake of NOT looking before I leap. 3. Heredity, I can't BLAME my parents, they faced many of the same challenges.
The nerves in my hands were especially annoyed. Unless you have felt the anger of nerve damage, unless you have done your best to simply "hang in there," (a phrase that I hate, but sometimes is the best I can do), unless you have watched helplessly as your hands, legs, and feet start to jerk and twist without your permission, unless you have witnessed a beloved child face these challenges, unless you have witnessed a dear spouse face these things, UNLESS, UNLESS, UNLESS you may not understand what this post is about.
There are far too many ways actions that lead to bitter. There is the bitterness of children trapped into sexual slavery, and human bondage. There is the bitter struggle of mental health challenge. How well would you handle having relentless voices always close to provide you with hideous images of pain, death, and evil...and some nights nothing you do seem to hush them. Facing the death of a loved one as the earth is stilled and dark. Oh YES, there are far too many times, places, and ways, to have a bitter night.
I believe that almost every human that walks this earth will at some point have a bitter night. This will be a night when light seems to be swallowed. Bitter will feel as though it will chew you up and spit you out.
Just as you feel to give up all hope, faith, or thought of redemption, the darkness will gather itself in a dark cloak. Light will grow, stretch, then become brighter and brighter. The birds will greet the newness of this day with songs of joy. Somehow...some way, morning will again greet the sleeping earth.
A small child lies in her tired Mother's lap. She is being rocked, and comforted with loving songs. The child is fearful, restless, gasping to draw enough oxygen into her tiny body to breathe. The struggle is momentous, especially since the only remedy is to obtain oxygen by taking her to the hospital when her breathing becomes dangerously impaired. The hospital bills are high. Finances are stretched.
Yet redemption is always a short time away. As the darkness is pushed away by the light, a new day, a new chance, a NEW SWEET is formed that masters the bitter. In this moment, this blessed moment, the pain shrinks, the air is more breatheable. Hope is renewed for a joyous future.
How does the sweet redeem the bitter? Should we try to ignore the bitter? NO! It is a strange idea but so true, that some how, some way, the darkness, bitterness, make the renewing of morning seem even sweeter. Yes, there will be other bitter nights. That is the reality of living. On the other hand, there will be redemptive mornings when shadings of light, and the reflections of joy, will paint the sky in radiant pink, orange, and brilliant. The birds will sing their triumphant welcome to the new day.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Mama's Kids
February 15, 1919 was a grand day. Like many marvelous events it
started fairly small...in a tiny town, in a humble home, with a new
baby. Her Grandmother delivered her into the world in her parent's
bedroom.
Sarah was the first child born in her family. There was a bit of disappointment. Her Father was a sheep rancher. His occupation was incredibly intense. He hoped for a son to help carry the load. America was still very narrow in their view of what women should do. Working on a sheep ranch was NOT in that particular definition.
Her eyes loomed large and lustrous in her tiny baby face. Her Mother held her close and served up her first meal. This closeness to her Mother lasted for ninety-one years. I don't suppose that it is surprising that this maternal bond would carry forward into Sarah's children and family.
I'm going to jump forward now, another 40 years or so. Sarah was married and had three children. She had lost a full-term son along her life's path. His earthly remains were tucked away in a cemetery in the town where her husband had earned his collegiate degrees. She had lost three other babes when they had been mere possibilities. Disappointed, she and her sweetheart kept their faces towards the future, the goals and dreams that lay for them there.
I remember my Mom telling me many, many times over the years, "You don't have to give birth to be a Mother. She lived those words actively. First she "fostered," many children unofficially. Children with parents in crisis. Friends of her own children, children that she knew about from her activity in her church group.
Next came the "official," foster children. She heard at church about a program to bring Native American children from the reservation where the schools were seriously lacking, to live with a family that could offer them better educational opportunities. This was a long time before being "politically correct," was important. She did not try to erase their Native American heritage. Sarah did her best to help them understand the traditions of their heritage. Four girls were brought into her home. She did her best to stay connected through the years. One of the girls continued communicating by letter until Mama passed away at 95.
Then there were the three state welfare children. A darling 2 year old daughter, a 6 year old son, and the oldest, another boy was 8. Imagine the sorrow of hearing a 2 year old say matter-of-factly, "My Mama is in prison." Gratefully she did not understand that her Mother was imprisoned for prostitution and petty theft.
These three brought joy and torment into Sarah's family. They were adorable children. She told the rest of our family through laughter about the time that the youngest said to her husband, "Dad, when you go to the store we need bum wipers, we're all out." Her extremely refined husband almost choked on his dinner.
Sarah and Wendell were in their late forties. After caring for these three for two years they applied to adopt them. They were informed that they were too old to be adopting these young children. In addition, the state refused to take away the Mother's rights. That same Mother who had abandoned them for a day here, a week there. The way they were discovered being all alone? Leslie, an eight year old at the time, was shoplifting at a grocery store to get food for his siblings.
After the bid to adopt the three State Services decided it was time to move them. So my two brothers, and my little sister, were pulled away to a home where the woman had already given birth to seven children. That did not last long. She came unglued, physically and mentally, and again the children were uprooted and dropped into a different home.
That was the last time that Sarah fostered "official" children from State Welfare. It was too heart breaking to see the children pay over, and over, and over again, for the sins of the parents.
Did she stop fostering? Not even a little bit. She just loved dear ones who had Mother's far away, or whose Mother had died. Of course, her nurturing and loving spirit just found other ways to nurture and love. She was the first person her friends and acquaintances called in emergencies, or to share joy and success.
I love my Mama, forever and always. I have been truly blessed with a wonderful Mother. I'm grateful for her unselfish example of love and caring.
Sarah was the first child born in her family. There was a bit of disappointment. Her Father was a sheep rancher. His occupation was incredibly intense. He hoped for a son to help carry the load. America was still very narrow in their view of what women should do. Working on a sheep ranch was NOT in that particular definition.
Her eyes loomed large and lustrous in her tiny baby face. Her Mother held her close and served up her first meal. This closeness to her Mother lasted for ninety-one years. I don't suppose that it is surprising that this maternal bond would carry forward into Sarah's children and family.
I'm going to jump forward now, another 40 years or so. Sarah was married and had three children. She had lost a full-term son along her life's path. His earthly remains were tucked away in a cemetery in the town where her husband had earned his collegiate degrees. She had lost three other babes when they had been mere possibilities. Disappointed, she and her sweetheart kept their faces towards the future, the goals and dreams that lay for them there.
I remember my Mom telling me many, many times over the years, "You don't have to give birth to be a Mother. She lived those words actively. First she "fostered," many children unofficially. Children with parents in crisis. Friends of her own children, children that she knew about from her activity in her church group.
Next came the "official," foster children. She heard at church about a program to bring Native American children from the reservation where the schools were seriously lacking, to live with a family that could offer them better educational opportunities. This was a long time before being "politically correct," was important. She did not try to erase their Native American heritage. Sarah did her best to help them understand the traditions of their heritage. Four girls were brought into her home. She did her best to stay connected through the years. One of the girls continued communicating by letter until Mama passed away at 95.
Then there were the three state welfare children. A darling 2 year old daughter, a 6 year old son, and the oldest, another boy was 8. Imagine the sorrow of hearing a 2 year old say matter-of-factly, "My Mama is in prison." Gratefully she did not understand that her Mother was imprisoned for prostitution and petty theft.
These three brought joy and torment into Sarah's family. They were adorable children. She told the rest of our family through laughter about the time that the youngest said to her husband, "Dad, when you go to the store we need bum wipers, we're all out." Her extremely refined husband almost choked on his dinner.
Sarah and Wendell were in their late forties. After caring for these three for two years they applied to adopt them. They were informed that they were too old to be adopting these young children. In addition, the state refused to take away the Mother's rights. That same Mother who had abandoned them for a day here, a week there. The way they were discovered being all alone? Leslie, an eight year old at the time, was shoplifting at a grocery store to get food for his siblings.
After the bid to adopt the three State Services decided it was time to move them. So my two brothers, and my little sister, were pulled away to a home where the woman had already given birth to seven children. That did not last long. She came unglued, physically and mentally, and again the children were uprooted and dropped into a different home.
That was the last time that Sarah fostered "official" children from State Welfare. It was too heart breaking to see the children pay over, and over, and over again, for the sins of the parents.
Did she stop fostering? Not even a little bit. She just loved dear ones who had Mother's far away, or whose Mother had died. Of course, her nurturing and loving spirit just found other ways to nurture and love. She was the first person her friends and acquaintances called in emergencies, or to share joy and success.
I love my Mama, forever and always. I have been truly blessed with a wonderful Mother. I'm grateful for her unselfish example of love and caring.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Squirrel or Wolf?
I was in a very large field. I was HORRIFIED to see a gray wolf running towards me. His eyes were filled with hunger. I couldn't move. My feet were firmly sealed into the ground below. The wolf crouched ready to spring...and came closer, and closer. His fangs were bared. I couldn't cry out or scream. Every time that I tried not one saving whisper came out.
I suddenly realized that everything seemed out of focus. I rubbed my eyes. (Apparently my hands still worked)! The creature I had perceived to be a life threatening gray wolf, was actually a gray squirrel that bounded up into a tree.
When I awakened, almost instantly I knew the meaning of this dream. Dreams are very personal, and generally they are just your mind ruminating refuse from your day to day life. On the other hand, some dreams can teach you. This was one of those kind of dreams.
In my life I often build up challenges and problems in my mind until they seem enormous. Yet times when I focus and face the problem they turn out to be squirrels. Many, many times in my life I have felt paralyzed by a challenge, worry, or problem. I often blow the trouble out of perspective. When I finally face my difficulty, I often find that the worry was actually much smaller than I originally considered.
Why do I share this personal experience? I share it because I'm pretty much certain that others in the world have this challenge beside me. Have you turned any gray squirrels into wolves? What ARE the issues facing you? Can you focus, concentrate, use creativity, and turn your wolf into a squirrel?
Perspective is a gift. It tells you, "You've done hard things before. You can do this again!" Today, take ten minutes. Go in a room all by yourself with paper, pen, or some technological device. Turn off the ringer on your phone. List the problems you are currently holding on a slow simmer in your mind. Face them squarely and write down any types of positive coping mechanisms that you have. (NO CHOCOLATE IS NOT a positive coping mechanism). lol Write a plan of action that gives you the strength to face these problems.
There is an old story that my Mama used to tell. A man came to a wealthy farmer to get a job. The farmer asked about the man's job skills. The man was a yes or no, and only talk when you have to kind of guy. He said tersely, "I can sleep through thunder storms."
The farmer thought that was an odd reply, but his need for help was great. He hired the man. Six months later a tremendous thunder storm hit. When the farmer looked for his hired worker he found that he was in bed asleep.
Angrily the farmer said, "Why are you in bed? Get up! We have to close the shutters, make certain that all of the animals are safely in the barn, and that they have food and water access in the barn. We must make certain that all things that could blow away in a storm are in the the shed for tools, and other things that blow away.
The man smiled, "I can sleep through a storm."
The farmer decided the man was crazy. He didn't want to deal with this man's seeming craziness. He stalked out into the yard to do all the things he had listed. Everywhere he went every task had been done and done well. Finally he understood his employee's words. He literally COULD sleep through a storm because he was always well prepared.
In the morning he apologized to the wise employee and begged him to stay at his farm.
The man smiled broadly and said two words, "Of course."
The good news is that our feet are not sealed to the ground. We have voices, and we can articulate things that matter. What are you fearing today? Is it better to postpone it or should you face it and overcome?
I suddenly realized that everything seemed out of focus. I rubbed my eyes. (Apparently my hands still worked)! The creature I had perceived to be a life threatening gray wolf, was actually a gray squirrel that bounded up into a tree.
When I awakened, almost instantly I knew the meaning of this dream. Dreams are very personal, and generally they are just your mind ruminating refuse from your day to day life. On the other hand, some dreams can teach you. This was one of those kind of dreams.
In my life I often build up challenges and problems in my mind until they seem enormous. Yet times when I focus and face the problem they turn out to be squirrels. Many, many times in my life I have felt paralyzed by a challenge, worry, or problem. I often blow the trouble out of perspective. When I finally face my difficulty, I often find that the worry was actually much smaller than I originally considered.
Why do I share this personal experience? I share it because I'm pretty much certain that others in the world have this challenge beside me. Have you turned any gray squirrels into wolves? What ARE the issues facing you? Can you focus, concentrate, use creativity, and turn your wolf into a squirrel?
Perspective is a gift. It tells you, "You've done hard things before. You can do this again!" Today, take ten minutes. Go in a room all by yourself with paper, pen, or some technological device. Turn off the ringer on your phone. List the problems you are currently holding on a slow simmer in your mind. Face them squarely and write down any types of positive coping mechanisms that you have. (NO CHOCOLATE IS NOT a positive coping mechanism). lol Write a plan of action that gives you the strength to face these problems.
There is an old story that my Mama used to tell. A man came to a wealthy farmer to get a job. The farmer asked about the man's job skills. The man was a yes or no, and only talk when you have to kind of guy. He said tersely, "I can sleep through thunder storms."
The farmer thought that was an odd reply, but his need for help was great. He hired the man. Six months later a tremendous thunder storm hit. When the farmer looked for his hired worker he found that he was in bed asleep.
Angrily the farmer said, "Why are you in bed? Get up! We have to close the shutters, make certain that all of the animals are safely in the barn, and that they have food and water access in the barn. We must make certain that all things that could blow away in a storm are in the the shed for tools, and other things that blow away.
The man smiled, "I can sleep through a storm."
The farmer decided the man was crazy. He didn't want to deal with this man's seeming craziness. He stalked out into the yard to do all the things he had listed. Everywhere he went every task had been done and done well. Finally he understood his employee's words. He literally COULD sleep through a storm because he was always well prepared.
In the morning he apologized to the wise employee and begged him to stay at his farm.
The man smiled broadly and said two words, "Of course."
The good news is that our feet are not sealed to the ground. We have voices, and we can articulate things that matter. What are you fearing today? Is it better to postpone it or should you face it and overcome?
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Agoraphobia and Mental Challenges
The Greek root of the word agoraphobia is agora. Agora is marketplace, or open place. Phobia indicates a fear. So literally the word means fear of the marketplace or open place. To put a more modern day spin on it, fear of leaving a controlled environment...like your own home.
I was born with severe allergy asthma, chronic bronchitis, and an impaired immune system. I was pretty close to being a bubble baby as a child, teenager, and even into my adult years. The worst time of year for me is January and February. Last year I was ill throughout both months until the second week of March.
In spite of these challenges I have always been a very social soul, adoring to spend time with others. I'm grateful that for almost ten months of the year I enjoy meeting with others, especially at church, or visiting in others homes.
Then comes January and February. January and February with short days (and LOOOOONNNNGGG nights), fill me with agoraphobia. I do not wish to proceed very far beyond my front door. I do not sit contentedly at home. I'm terrified to leave my home, but I'm also bored with my own continued company. One might say that it puts me at odds with myself.
Throughout my personal life journey I have experienced illnesses that are still falsely referred to as "Mental illnesses." Through research I have come to believe that the diseases should be reclassified as physical illnesses with mental manifestations.
Nobody would accuse a diabetic of having an illness that was imaginary. It would also be extremely foolish to tell someone with a brain tumor that the experience was psychosomatic. This is a long word that refers to things that are supposedly only in our own personal realities, and can't be proven by human senses.
With this old-fashioned idea in mind, why would you believe that if your body is not creating the proper chemicals to keep a mental balance it would cause you to experience feelings of DIS EASE? The word actually means what I just spelled out, a feeling of being unwell.
Our brains are extremely complicated organisms. They virtually are the control center for the rest of our body. It takes an extremely well balanced chemical balance to provide the simple sense of being at rest within our bodies.
Clinical depression, or other mental manifestations of physical illness are far different than discouragement. Discouragement is an emotion riding on the circumstances in your life. Clinical depression, agoraphobia, and other challenges of this nature, are rarely connected to circumstance. Oh negative circumstances can definitely worsen them, but often they are present even in times we typically consider positive and successful. Consider the actors that have had every type of success that we generally feel should create and maintain happiness. Marilyn Monroe, for example, suffered clinical depression. Her death was suspicious, a possible suicide. The extremely rich have many, many stories of clinical depression, in spite of their wealth and social stature.
Unfortunately, mental manifestations are often tied to genetics. Yet I find comfort in being forewarned of that possibility. It does not mean that I am DOOMED to face the disease. It means that I can do research and be prepared in ways to cope with my own, and look to the future in case my children or grandchildren inherit this.
Mental illness is NOT the end of the world. Especially in this current world, there are so many wonderful ways and means of coping with and improving any illness that impacts our moods and brain function.
PLEASE! The most important thing that we can do about mental health challenge is to remove the stigma. For centuries, people with mental health issues have been locked away so that they did not embarrass their families. When there was no treatment, often people have been institutionalized for "their own protection, or the protection of others." We live in a progressive time when we know so much more about these magnificent bodies that our spirits inhabit. It's important to remember that mental illness is not an imagined experience. When you are living through your bodies inability to regulate your brains functions, IT IS ALL TOO REAL!
I was born with severe allergy asthma, chronic bronchitis, and an impaired immune system. I was pretty close to being a bubble baby as a child, teenager, and even into my adult years. The worst time of year for me is January and February. Last year I was ill throughout both months until the second week of March.
In spite of these challenges I have always been a very social soul, adoring to spend time with others. I'm grateful that for almost ten months of the year I enjoy meeting with others, especially at church, or visiting in others homes.
Then comes January and February. January and February with short days (and LOOOOONNNNGGG nights), fill me with agoraphobia. I do not wish to proceed very far beyond my front door. I do not sit contentedly at home. I'm terrified to leave my home, but I'm also bored with my own continued company. One might say that it puts me at odds with myself.
Throughout my personal life journey I have experienced illnesses that are still falsely referred to as "Mental illnesses." Through research I have come to believe that the diseases should be reclassified as physical illnesses with mental manifestations.
Nobody would accuse a diabetic of having an illness that was imaginary. It would also be extremely foolish to tell someone with a brain tumor that the experience was psychosomatic. This is a long word that refers to things that are supposedly only in our own personal realities, and can't be proven by human senses.
With this old-fashioned idea in mind, why would you believe that if your body is not creating the proper chemicals to keep a mental balance it would cause you to experience feelings of DIS EASE? The word actually means what I just spelled out, a feeling of being unwell.
Our brains are extremely complicated organisms. They virtually are the control center for the rest of our body. It takes an extremely well balanced chemical balance to provide the simple sense of being at rest within our bodies.
Clinical depression, or other mental manifestations of physical illness are far different than discouragement. Discouragement is an emotion riding on the circumstances in your life. Clinical depression, agoraphobia, and other challenges of this nature, are rarely connected to circumstance. Oh negative circumstances can definitely worsen them, but often they are present even in times we typically consider positive and successful. Consider the actors that have had every type of success that we generally feel should create and maintain happiness. Marilyn Monroe, for example, suffered clinical depression. Her death was suspicious, a possible suicide. The extremely rich have many, many stories of clinical depression, in spite of their wealth and social stature.
Unfortunately, mental manifestations are often tied to genetics. Yet I find comfort in being forewarned of that possibility. It does not mean that I am DOOMED to face the disease. It means that I can do research and be prepared in ways to cope with my own, and look to the future in case my children or grandchildren inherit this.
Mental illness is NOT the end of the world. Especially in this current world, there are so many wonderful ways and means of coping with and improving any illness that impacts our moods and brain function.
PLEASE! The most important thing that we can do about mental health challenge is to remove the stigma. For centuries, people with mental health issues have been locked away so that they did not embarrass their families. When there was no treatment, often people have been institutionalized for "their own protection, or the protection of others." We live in a progressive time when we know so much more about these magnificent bodies that our spirits inhabit. It's important to remember that mental illness is not an imagined experience. When you are living through your bodies inability to regulate your brains functions, IT IS ALL TOO REAL!
Joel Stein's discussion of public shaming...and possibly being shamed
Joel Stein writes for Times magazine. I am completely and utterly jealous of the fact that he earns a living writing! That is truly a dream for a writer. I write. I feel the need to write in one format or another each and everyday. I have written two novels that are published, I have one more that is in the last stages of getting published, and I have written portions of another 7 novels.
Back to that getting paid to write. Unfortunately, each and every human on this planet needs money. It costs money to keep a roof over your head, and the weather out. It costs money to eat, to pay for the utilities so that you can turn on lights, and be warm inside that place where you keep the weather out. If you manage to afford a vehicle there are monthly payments to own it, and it costs money for insurance, and to maintain it. Even if you manage to pay all of those expenses, it costs money to put fuel in the tank so that it can take you where you need or want to go. Pretty much on this planet you need money for survival.
Now back to Mr. Stein's article. In Africa there was an old lion named Cecil. He was known across the globe. Somehow, someway, a rich dentist gained permission to come and shoot and kill the venerable old creature.
What could possibly motivate someone to hunt a creature that is elderly? It certainly wasn't the thrill of hunting an intelligent animal. I believe the poor old animal waddled arthritisly (new word but any over 50 will totally get it) by the dentist that hunted him, and was mercilessly shot down.
Did the shooter want a lion head to mount on his fireplace mantel? There is an old fashioned phrase, "Long in the tooth," which refers to being old and having your teeth getting lower as you age. I'm not even certain that Cecil had any teeth left, after all, and this dentist probably knew this already, oral hygiene and dental care is not widespread for HUMANS, let alone lions in most of Africa. I simply can't think of a single motivation that would send someone excitedly out to kill that old lion.
The internet is a marvelous educational tool. In a heartbeat we can gain all types of information (some of it not so wise or true). As a wannabe writer, the internet is an important tool. I can sit on my bed in one state, and do research all over this great country of ours.
On the other hand it can be a powerful tool for those who like to stand on their mythical high ground and judge the actions of others. Cowards are those that stand in judgment of others without knowing the entire story, or remain anonymous while they tear down others maliciously. A quote that Joel quoted, and now I'm quoting Joel quoting the quote, "Moral psychology has a very sinister property." Truly tragic that something that has purpose and values, morality, can be used in such a negative manner.
His last paragraph is very interesting to me. He says, "Maybe it's best to stop shaming others. Sure, that will slow progress, but it will prevent fascism. Unless a lot of you disagree with me. In which case, I totally think whatever you do." Ditto Mr. Stein and please keep up your writing so that I may enjoy reading.
I state this with all the sincerity of my heart. Oh did I mention that I use a pen name? A nom de plum? A pseudonym?
Back to that getting paid to write. Unfortunately, each and every human on this planet needs money. It costs money to keep a roof over your head, and the weather out. It costs money to eat, to pay for the utilities so that you can turn on lights, and be warm inside that place where you keep the weather out. If you manage to afford a vehicle there are monthly payments to own it, and it costs money for insurance, and to maintain it. Even if you manage to pay all of those expenses, it costs money to put fuel in the tank so that it can take you where you need or want to go. Pretty much on this planet you need money for survival.
Now back to Mr. Stein's article. In Africa there was an old lion named Cecil. He was known across the globe. Somehow, someway, a rich dentist gained permission to come and shoot and kill the venerable old creature.
What could possibly motivate someone to hunt a creature that is elderly? It certainly wasn't the thrill of hunting an intelligent animal. I believe the poor old animal waddled arthritisly (new word but any over 50 will totally get it) by the dentist that hunted him, and was mercilessly shot down.
Did the shooter want a lion head to mount on his fireplace mantel? There is an old fashioned phrase, "Long in the tooth," which refers to being old and having your teeth getting lower as you age. I'm not even certain that Cecil had any teeth left, after all, and this dentist probably knew this already, oral hygiene and dental care is not widespread for HUMANS, let alone lions in most of Africa. I simply can't think of a single motivation that would send someone excitedly out to kill that old lion.
The internet is a marvelous educational tool. In a heartbeat we can gain all types of information (some of it not so wise or true). As a wannabe writer, the internet is an important tool. I can sit on my bed in one state, and do research all over this great country of ours.
On the other hand it can be a powerful tool for those who like to stand on their mythical high ground and judge the actions of others. Cowards are those that stand in judgment of others without knowing the entire story, or remain anonymous while they tear down others maliciously. A quote that Joel quoted, and now I'm quoting Joel quoting the quote, "Moral psychology has a very sinister property." Truly tragic that something that has purpose and values, morality, can be used in such a negative manner.
His last paragraph is very interesting to me. He says, "Maybe it's best to stop shaming others. Sure, that will slow progress, but it will prevent fascism. Unless a lot of you disagree with me. In which case, I totally think whatever you do." Ditto Mr. Stein and please keep up your writing so that I may enjoy reading.
I state this with all the sincerity of my heart. Oh did I mention that I use a pen name? A nom de plum? A pseudonym?
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