It's OK to NOT be OK

It's OK to not be OK.  Those wise words are helping me today.  I'm NOT  ok.  I may have tiny little metastatic cancer cells floating about throughout my body.  I'm taking a medication that has some pretty miserable side effects (including most of the fun of menopause for the second time around), and I feel like somebody has stuffed my brain full of cotton.  I know that things ARE stored in my brain but I often can't seem to access the stored information.

I had two marvelous grandma's.  They were true examples of living wonderful, fulfilling lives.  Both of them were quite stoic.  You would not hear them complaining or discussing the hard parts of their lives.  I think that I especially didn't hear it because I was a child, a grandchild, and they felt that it would be too much for me.  I grew to understand that one of the Grandma's didn't say she was feeling poorly, but she would get a little grouchy, a touch cranky.

I personally find that as my wise sister said, "Even a pressure cooker needs to vent!"  I'm grateful right now that I can reach out across internet forums and have wise and loving friends who use their words to lift me up, to give me hope, and courage.  Support during this particular type of battle is ESSENTIAL! 

What if you are going through this war zone and have no support?  I would encourage you to join a support group, or surround yourself with positive literature.  Victor Frankl, Cory Ten Boom, Maria Von Trap, just to name a few authors that inspire through the hard they faced in life. 

I call a friend if I need to vent.  You need to make certain that it's a friend who can handle the hard.  The first time around I learned who my truest friends are.  They were always there to listen, lift, and love,  Those friends are still my friends almost 30 years later.  I hope that I in return have helped them during their hard.

Returning to the idea, "It's ok to not be ok."  This does not mean that you have to be gloom and doomish.  Dora Downer is never somebody that anybody wants to be around.  I follow my personal belief in Craughing.  Women are so good at craughing.  It's a combination of crying and laughing.  That is what women do.  We meet on the phone crying so hard that we're barely coherent, but by the end of the conversation we are laughing through our tears.   Craughing is excellent treatment when life has given you tough, awful, soul shaking things.

Reach out to someone that you love if life is kicking you in the booty.  Your friends can't read your mind.  Unless you tell them, "This is TOO hard" how will they know that you have need?  Life seems to be moving faster and faster, this makes it even more important to reach out in love to others.

Service is an excellent method of enriching your ability to cope.  Somehow when we give, there is always a joy that results.  There are myriads of ways to give, find one and reach out.

It's ok to not be ok.  It's not ok to give in to bitterness, anger, and negative emotion as a permanent coping mechanism.  On a temporary basis, have a grand pity party.  For me there would have to be chocolate involved!  lol  When midnight strikes, be like Cinderella and have the ball be over.  When the pity party gets extended too long it becomes wallowing.  The only creatures that should wallow are buffaloes!