My sweetie passed away on January 11, 2014. It took us (his wife and two daughters) several months to have the desire to cancel subscriptions, and change bills into a different name. The pain of going on in life WITHOUT NYLE is impossible to describe. I came to understand the country song, "It only hurts once a day, everyday...all day long!" My belief in the afterlife helped me to hang on through those brutal times.
Time has not taken away all of the pain. Instead it has helped to dull the pain from searing, and sharp stabbing, to an ache that won't leave. Yet I am happy to record that now life is more about the happy memories that he left behind. Enough happy memories to last for the rest of my life.
We cancelled every subscription, etc. etc. that Nyle received in the mail. The three of us split three different ways, one to finish college, one to an urban apartment and a new job, and me, to an apartment by myself. We forwarded all of the familial mail three different directions.
Imagine how delighted I was when I still received mail for Nyle. Advertisements for events arrived with his name. The weirdest one was when we received "Cosmopolitan?" He didn't read this magazine when he was alive but somehow they started sending it after he died?
Next all three of us moved together into a lovely home. For a wonderful time we're together here in this place and space. Again the mail was forwarded. Imagine my surprise and delight when AGAIN Nyle's mail followed us. To me it feels as though Nyle is finding ways to say, "I'm still here." I'm watching over you.
I know that this idea would seem crazy to those who do not believe that there is an afterlife. I honestly don't care if it's really Nyle arranging to have things sent to us in his name, or if it's my imagination creating that idea. Either way the reminders of his love, his connection make my days and nights easier.
Nyle was a Producer working with movies and videos. He was a novelist, having written two books. Nyle was an amazing actor. I used to tell him that at 50, with almost no hair left, and a full beard he could play the part of a blond woman who was 22 and it would be believable...that's how good he was. In college he was nominated for a very prestigious regional acting award. His wonderful singing voice sounded like Randy Newman combined with Joe Cocker. He had soul and warmth, blended with a deep rasp. AWESOME!
Then, presto chango, Nyle left his creative life behind and became an attorney. He practiced Family Law for several years. A nasty branch of the law that one. He hated splitting families up! Then he received the most wonderful job for him. He became Associate Dean of Career Services at the Law School that he had graduated from. He was also a professor teaching students how to write resumes and interview for jobs. He still worked in the legal field doing lots of pro bono work (free) for those who couldn't pay.
After retirement we moved back to our roots, and again he became an actor. He actually had people recognize him as he went about his life from the plays that he performed in. He was that good!
With all of these remarkable accomplishments his favorite and most cherished accomplishment was our family. He was most joyous when we were together, watching TV, singing around the piano, or playing games. I completely believe that it would take far more than death to pull him away from us.
BRING ON THE MAIL! Each and every piece with his name on it reminds me that he loves us, is watching over us, and we will be together again. I love you my darling Nyle! You will travel with me throughout the rest of my life. I also know that you watch over our beloved daughters. Thanks my dearie for sending the mail in your name!