I was moved to tears just now. These were happy tears. I like to review the statistics on my blog and find out how many are reading, and from where. It gives me a just a little booster of confidence to keep writing. Imagine my joy to discover that 11 people read yesterday, and 11 people today.
Why is that tender and poignant I imagine you asking? 11:11 is the only time of the day when all four digits are the same. Early in our marriage Nyle announced that when we were together at 11:11 a.m. or p.m. whatever we were doing we would quit. We would then hold hands for that one minute until 11:12 happened. Even when we were in the midst of an argument we would stop and hold hands for that minute and often it would re-set us enough to be more logical and less emotional in our difference of opinion.
So whenever I see 11 connected to 11, in any format, I feel Nyle here beside me. I feel the sometimes calloused masculinity of his hand. I adored the way my rather small hand was simply swallowed up by Nyle's. With my hand in his I felt powerful! I could take on the struggles of the world and win because he was on my team, and I was on his!
He is no longer a physical being. He IS a spiritual being now. That does NOT mean that he is gone...he is just a lot harder to see. Yet I feel him close, often, and it is such a blessing to believe that we WILL be together again!
Until then, I will hold his hand every 11:11, whether it be 11:11 as the time of day, or 11/11 in the status of readers. So today Nyle, I am holding your hand, and once again I am powerful in the love that we share!