Much has happened in the last week of my life. My beloved, my sweetheart, my soulmate passed from this life into the next. My faith that life does NOT end when death occurs is helping me to move forward with tiny baby steps.
We spent twenty-six years together, filled with joys, sorrows, pain, celebration, and every size and piece of emotion life can bring. The wonderful thing that happens for most of us in this life is that when we look backward from the present the sorrows and problems become diminshed, and the joys and blessings seem to stand out with clarity.
I sometimes feel like I will simply break into a million tiny bits of me. That I will be such small sizes that it will take a broom and dustbin to collect me.
I'm trying to understand the process of grieving. There are ever so many books written on the subject. They do give helpful suggestions on ideas for coping with this raggedy edged pain.
If there is a problem with these books it comes when they suggest a "One size fits all mentality towards coping with grief." There are certain steps in the process that seem to be universal. Yet each idea, each suggestion can be helpful as long as you don't use them to compare yourself to others in the way they cope.
It has been a week of the darkest sorrows, and the greatest joys. We have been surrounded with loving, supportive friends. We had not a funeral but a Life Celebration. There was spirit, humor, Shakespeare, music, and excerpts from Nyle's book were read. It was touching to think that Nyle was speaking to us through his writing.
I want to thank everyone that has reached out to us. Hours were passed in the hospital waiting for Nyle to pass. The hard edged struggle was softened by family and friends.
If anyone has lost a brother, sister, friend, parent, spouse, I know they will understand what I am speaking about. I would be grateful for ideas, stories or input by others who have faced this.